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EnterSandman

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EnterSandman
  • Town/Country : Connectishit, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 7 June 1986 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 1594
  • Number of comments : 188
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 106 posted

About EnterSandman : Some rainbows have something better at the end than a pot of gold.

If I click on your account, don't worry. I just have the app on my iPhone and sometimes fat thumbs make it difficult to thumb comments, or your picture looked hilarious but was too small to see without clicking on.

Anyways, thanks for taking the time to look at this (I think). If you happened to click this profile by mistake, don't worry. I won't hunt you down and release thousands of fire ants in your bed, I like my world drama-free.

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EnterSandman's favorite FMLs

Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML

#8989012
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14934) - you deserved it (1863)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:30am - animals - by stuckathome (man) - United States

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15692) - you deserved it (1677)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

#8742333
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7165) - you deserved it (27296)

On 03/01/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by ItHurtsLIkeHell (man) - Malaysia (Pulau Pinang)

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to bring her to her AA meeting. FML

#8587939
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5613) - you deserved it (22502)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:33pm - kids - by geeb - United States (Minnesota)

Today, on the way home from a night out, I crossed the main road in my town via the traffic lights. As I got to the other side, a guy turned to his two friends and 'whispered' with a look of disgust, "I would have run that one over." Thanks. FML

#8580880
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15462) - you deserved it (1600)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by thetallone (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, we were drawing self-portraits in school. I'm horrible at art, so I turned to the person next to me and stated that mine looked really ugly. He replied saying, "No, it looks exactly like you." FML

#8557301
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17178) - you deserved it (4548)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:24pm - misc - by quasimodo - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was washing a stainless steel pot at my kitchen job. Every time I pulled it out of the dishwasher and examined it for dirt, I saw something orange inside it. After 3 run-throughs, I realized it was just my shirts reflection. FML

#8324866
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4112) - you deserved it (21893)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:23am - work - by 3Airwalk3 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML

#8238239
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19541) - you deserved it (3041)

On 02/14/2010 at 3:42am - love - by dzisfml - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30080) - you deserved it (2504)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I was fired from my job. Why? Because my boss has been dating my newly divorced mother, and he didn't want family get-togethers to be "awkward." FML

#8177563
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20721) - you deserved it (1229)

On 02/12/2010 at 7:22pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend of a couple of months texted me that she was very sad because her puppy had just passed away. Feeling sorry for her, I bought her another puppy of the same breed. I wrapped it in a blanket and placed it on the passenger seat and went to pick her up from school. She sat on it. FML

#8099753
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23292) - you deserved it (5800)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML

#8083041
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18831) - you deserved it (5800)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:30am - misc - by muffingirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

#7631341
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26338) - you deserved it (5759)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML

#7490616
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39637) - you deserved it (3052)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42751) - you deserved it (6374)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)



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