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EnterSandman

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EnterSandman
  • Town/Country : Connectishit, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2821
  • Number of comments : 216
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 109 posted

About EnterSandman : Just a dude that's had too many concussions and works 3rd shift so my brain has a rather strange thought process (when it has a thought process).

I love metal, so I give myself even more concussions head banging to the likes of Metallica, etc. I also do a bit of writing in my spare time since I take sleep aids that give me really weird dreams that could make awesome books (if I ever actually finish one and get it published, that is).

If I click on your account, don't worry. I just have the app on my iPhone and sometimes fat thumbs make it difficult to thumb comments, or your picture looked hilarious but was too small to see without clicking on. Anyways, thanks for taking the time to look at this (I think). If you happened to click this profile by mistake, don't worry. I won't hunt you down and release thousands of fire ants in your bed, I like my world drama-free.

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EnterSandman's favorite FMLs

Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML

#18920760
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18023) - you deserved it (5675)

On 01/26/2012 at 10:22pm - misc - by ParkerRommel (man) - United States

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

#18913819
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25945) - you deserved it (3665)

On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

#18876048
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32914) - you deserved it (1937)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27256) - you deserved it (4506)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32738) - you deserved it (11618)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25776) - you deserved it (3601)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34128) - you deserved it (4591) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30099) - you deserved it (8628)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML

#18592801
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26148) - you deserved it (2925)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:24pm - love - by unwanted (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML

#18577154
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26933) - you deserved it (2844)

On 12/22/2011 at 3:09am - love - by Jean - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via the medium of free-style rapping. FML

#18535495
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27375) - you deserved it (3788)

On 12/17/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by Emily - United States (Indiana)

Today, I heard my alarm go off, dragged myself out of bed, had breakfast and got ready for work. As I was heading out the door I checked the time again. It was 1:41 AM. Apparently my alarm never actually went off. FML

#18520175
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25764) - you deserved it (4037)

On 12/15/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by 2285morgan - United States

Today, it was my first time as a hockey referee, for a game played by 7-year-olds. At one point, a little boy tripped another boy. Doing my job, I gave him 2 minutes in the penalty box. After the game, I was attacked by a mob of parents. I was even given an optometrist's business card. FML

#18449960
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21609) - you deserved it (1948)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:26am - work - by gmnesbitt - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML

#18424721
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24162) - you deserved it (2155)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:04am - health - by memoryloss (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML

#18402920
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16530) - you deserved it (4677)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by Hot Pants (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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