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50 favourites
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Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40035) - you deserved it (7604)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I arranged to have some flowers delivered at work for Valentine's Day so that my colleagues will think someone likes me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20436) - you deserved it (15041)
On 02/14/2011 at 12:34am - love - by alone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27094) - you deserved it (2441)
On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart. I'm 16, still a virgin and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26629) - you deserved it (2604)
On 01/24/2011 at 12:11am - intimacy - by andifalls -
Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19609) - you deserved it (3260)
On 01/23/2011 at 9:47pm - misc - by embarrassed2 (woman) - United States
Today, I was doing karaoke with my girlfriend's family, when the 5 year old came over and shut off my microphone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14520) - you deserved it (5996)
On 01/23/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by shadowfigure (man) - United States (Alaska)
Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14696) - you deserved it (43381)
On 01/22/2011 at 11:04am - intimacy - by mortified (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26114) - you deserved it (2620)
On 01/15/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13575) - you deserved it (22092)
On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31090) - you deserved it (8145)
On 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18192) - you deserved it (4291)
On 12/11/2010 at 11:16am - kids - by blueberry_hill (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30253) - you deserved it (49768)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19620) - you deserved it (7695)
On 12/10/2010 at 2:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the woman I'm currently dating used to be a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48934) - you deserved it (8393)
On 12/06/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by swindstorm -
Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25504) - you deserved it (6404)
On 12/05/2010 at 1:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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