EmyB

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EmyB

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 September 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2047
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About EmyB : Feel free to message me!! I love meeting new people, discovering new things, being weird, MUSIC and baking :)

EmyB's page activity

Visits<b>plmoto</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 9:48pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 8:33am<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 1:44pm<b>davered89</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 5:34pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:18pm<b>rjc490</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 11:10am<b>CassidyQueen98</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:13pm<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:04pm<b>timotay89</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 9:02am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 10:19pm<b>Kirbyzx</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 4:18pm<b>Gemma_Mansonite</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 6:50am<b>harrysphone</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 3:30pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 3:43am<b>marleybree</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:56am<b>bpbpbp1</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 1:12pm<b>amanimonster101</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 10:50pm<b>Jondw</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 10:52am

Fucked!<b>davered89</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 11:34pm

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EmyB's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

by sisi9999 / 07/25/2011 at 12:14am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I fell asleep while watching an action movie. My newly installed surround sound system scared me so bad that I fell off the couch and smashed my face on our coffee table. FML

by nataliepaige / 07/19/2011 at 12:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I spent the entire day in my room trying to figure out how to get rid of my psycho boyfriend without dying. FML

by illenram06 / 07/11/2011 at 11:37am / Philippines (Roxas) / Love

Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2011 at 3:42am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2011 at 6:28pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I got stuck listening to my coworker bang on about how sexy her fiancé is for almost an hour. She told me about their sex life, described his dick in great detail, and showed me pictures of him shirtless. My coworker is 49; her fiancé is 56 and overweight. FML

by Jessie / 07/05/2011 at 12:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting at the computer browsing various websites. In my attempt to scoot the chair forward, I hit my knee against the desk that my computer was on, and ended up breaking it. I literally broke my knee sitting on my ass. FML

by Charles / 06/21/2011 at 12:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, while I was in the shower, my curious cat jumped in. She decided she really doesn't like showers and to avoid getting wet, used my naked body as a makeshift tree. FML

by brittaneejanex / 06/02/2011 at 12:06pm / United States / Animals

Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML

by Ryan / 02/07/2010 at 9:18am / Work

Today, I realized that acne is a major side effect of a medication I'm taking. The medication is to help me with my anxiety. The acne is creating more anxiety. And the more anxious I get, the more meds I need. And the more my face breaks out. FML

by JoJo / 10/17/2009 at 2:26am / United States (Iowa) / Health

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2009 at 1:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

by homedoggieo / 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

by R_U_CEREAL / 07/04/2009 at 4:58am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a barbecue and noticed a girl that I had be interested in. When I walked up to ask how she was doing I noticed she had some BBQ sauce on her face. Jokingly I licked my thumb and reach to remove it. It turned out to be a scab from a pimple she had popped earlier. FML

by eayers2689 / 05/30/2009 at 12:19pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous