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Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30675) - you deserved it (2312)
On 07/25/2011 at 12:14am - health - by sisi9999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I fell asleep while watching an action movie. My newly installed surround sound system scared me so bad that I fell off the couch and smashed my face on our coffee table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18995) - you deserved it (8347)
On 07/19/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by nataliepaige - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I spent the entire day in my room trying to figure out how to get rid of my psycho boyfriend without dying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36587) - you deserved it (4737)
On 07/11/2011 at 11:37am - misc - by illenram06 - Philippines (Roxas)
Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51352) - you deserved it (2561)
On 07/11/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45728) - you deserved it (2289)
On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25470) - you deserved it (3978)
On 07/05/2011 at 6:28pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I got stuck listening to my coworker bang on about how sexy her fiancé is for almost an hour. She told me about their sex life, described his dick in great detail, and showed me pictures of him shirtless. My coworker is 49; her fiancé is 56 and overweight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34193) - you deserved it (3048)
On 07/05/2011 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was sitting at the computer browsing various websites. In my attempt to scoot the chair forward, I hit my knee against the desk that my computer was on, and ended up breaking it. I literally broke my knee sitting on my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23282) - you deserved it (5865)
On 06/21/2011 at 12:59pm - health - by Charles (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while I was in the shower, my curious cat jumped in. She decided she really doesn't like showers and to avoid getting wet, used my naked body as a makeshift tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26049) - you deserved it (3068)
On 06/02/2011 at 12:06pm - animals - by brittaneejanex - United States
Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26927) - you deserved it (2917)
On 02/07/2010 at 9:18am - work - by Ryan - Sent from mobile version
Today, I realized that acne is a major side effect of a medication I'm taking. The medication is to help me with my anxiety. The acne is creating more anxiety. And the more anxious I get, the more meds I need. And the more my face breaks out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30223) - you deserved it (4115)
On 10/17/2009 at 2:26am - health - by JoJo - United States (Iowa)
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32182) - you deserved it (5075)
On 10/03/2009 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49232) - you deserved it (2511)
On 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm - animals - by homedoggieo (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55744) - you deserved it (9518)
On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went to a barbecue and noticed a girl that I had be interested in. When I walked up to ask how she was doing I noticed she had some BBQ sauce on her face. Jokingly I licked my thumb and reach to remove it. It turned out to be a scab from a pimple she had popped earlier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13681) - you deserved it (40863)
On 05/30/2009 at 12:19pm - misc - by eayers2689 (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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