Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

EmreArslan

Search for a member

EmreArslan
  • Town/Country : The Hague, Netherlands
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 21 August 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1414
  • Number of comments : 167
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About EmreArslan : I'm using the Iphone App on my Ipod Touch. Nothing else to say, you still can pm me

***I have read all the FML's ;)***
so i just come back on weekly.
Have been on fmylife since 2009 ^^
And have this account since 2011
And even succesfully told a moderator that an FML that was posted couple of weeks ago was already posted a longer time ago :) man do i have a life or what!

EmreArslan's last visitors

ThatSlappinBassireply_wlyricsILoveHashtagspresjohnsongirlromeClint15horseychickideewackybulldognchic01

EmreArslan's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of EmreArslan's badges

EmreArslan's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML

#18100630
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15997) - you deserved it (29444)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by me - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

#17960202
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31082) - you deserved it (7758)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm - intimacy - by margelover (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML

#17949951
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26604) - you deserved it (2943)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:16am - love - by thatgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

#17375446
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44315) - you deserved it (2171)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)

Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML

#17364293
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36978) - you deserved it (3499)

On 08/04/2011 at 4:30am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, at a fancy dress party, I got off with Hitler. FML

#17277146
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17600) - you deserved it (28728)

On 07/27/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by SallyGeen (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

#17255469
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (5638)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by ninja_blasphemer (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting likes, he pats me on the head and says "good girl". I'm whipped by a seven year old. FML

#17177667
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23948) - you deserved it (7501)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:03pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#17017856
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51654) - you deserved it (2984)

On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

#17001302
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8159) - you deserved it (70301)

On 07/06/2011 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31303) - you deserved it (4492)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML

#16588229
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31019) - you deserved it (11287)

On 06/10/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by henry feingold - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

#16480333
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39825) - you deserved it (4311)

On 06/03/2011 at 6:17am - intimacy - by peaaaak (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

#16166578
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35825) - you deserved it (4155)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by IhateThem - United States

Today, an unpaid intern had his first day at my workplace of seven years. As a joke, my boss gave him the same challenge she gave me on my first day. The intern completed it in 37 minutes. We've always been told it's impossible. Guess we all have to start working harder. FML



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: