About EmmiAnne : Quiet, shy, artistic and I love My Chemical Romance, and absolutely hate stereotypes.
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Today, I purchased an app to track my period. When my mother asked me why I got it, I told her I was going to use it so I knew when to not go on a date because I don't want to be uncomfortable during a long movie. She slapped me in the face and called me a dirty prostitute and a liar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37638) - you deserved it (6584)
On 06/19/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by stillAvirgin:( - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I purchased an app to track my period. When my mother asked me why I got it, I told her I was going to use it so I knew when to not go on a date because I don't want to be uncomfortable during a long movie. She slapped me in the face and called me a dirty prostitute and a liar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37638) - you deserved it (6584)
On 06/19/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by stillAvirgin:( - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29947) - you deserved it (10446)
On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10629) - you deserved it (35855)
On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33286) - you deserved it (3819)
On 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by Mom (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35179) - you deserved it (2544)
On 06/08/2011 at 7:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52281) - you deserved it (9882)
On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded. It came from his car bumping up and down while we drove down a pot-holed road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31147) - you deserved it (4171)
On 05/21/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by hahanosirr (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, after fifth block, I decided to go for a little walk. Apparently so did my boyfriend and best friend. I found them together under the stairs with her head in his crotch. She said she was looking for her contacts. His pants were pulled down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46620) - you deserved it (3176)
On 05/18/2011 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by levi69 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21651) - you deserved it (7621)
On 05/18/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I puked up a centipede. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44953) - you deserved it (5743)
On 05/11/2011 at 12:59am - health - by vaalcrawford - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25011) - you deserved it (2370)
On 05/01/2011 at 2:02am - misc - by rb - United States
Today, my friends sat me down and said they were concerned I was self-harming. I don't self-harm, I'm just a massive klutz. They don't believe me, and want me to get professional help. And now, because I found it all so funny, they think I'm mentally unhinged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22596) - you deserved it (3243)
On 03/30/2011 at 1:28pm - misc - by Alisha (woman) - United Kingdom (Stirling)
Today, in front of my family, my brother's wife announced that she was pregnant with their first child. Everyone joked around and said I was next. Two weeks ago I found out that I'm sterile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41077) - you deserved it (2207)
On 03/25/2011 at 8:07pm - health - by dazzla08 -
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38885) - you deserved it (6435)
On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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