Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Emilythexenocide

Search for a member

Emilythexenocide

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 August 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1164
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Emilythexenocide : Emilythexenocide@gmail.com

Emilythexenocide's page activity

Visits<b>allforyoux3</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:05pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 11:13am<b>snydeeli000</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 12:24am<b>azk3000</b> - the 07/27/2012 at 3:18pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:34pm<b>Quest_</b> - the 09/09/2010 at 9:53am<b>lets_be_ian</b> - the 05/13/2010 at 9:11pm<b>patriots102</b> - the 01/11/2010 at 7:27pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 11/29/2009 at 6:00pm<b>DJ_Grim</b> - the 11/05/2009 at 11:15am<b>porsche944</b> - the 11/03/2009 at 7:25pm<b>Mulberry</b> - the 11/02/2009 at 9:45pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/02/2009 at 4:28pm<b>kukopia</b> - the 10/15/2009 at 1:50pm<b>Lisimal</b> - the 08/16/2009 at 3:38am<b>squiggles1020</b> - the 08/14/2009 at 10:21pm<b>xianwei</b> - the 08/14/2009 at 9:31pm<b>I_Love_Isms</b> - the 08/14/2009 at 7:14pm

Emilythexenocide's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Emilythexenocide's favorite FMLs

Today, while playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, my phone rang, and I instinctively tried to pick it up with the Force. I kept trying until it stopped ringing. FML

#8480132
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6387) - you deserved it (41034)

On 02/20/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by analinguist (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16783) - you deserved it (41924)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was riding my dorm elevator from the 5th floor to the 1st by myself. Since the elevator is really slow, I pulled my pants and underwear down just for kicks. Just then, the door opened to let a girl on at the 4th floor. FML

#7450090
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5549) - you deserved it (78492)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by embareassed (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML

#7243511
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27804) - you deserved it (3084)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:23pm - animals - by targetlove (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

#7233088
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21737) - you deserved it (6342)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8538) - you deserved it (58570)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

#6976806
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45382) - you deserved it (3547)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it's Saturday. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get my excitement thinking about how I'll be sleeping with a new pillow. FML

#6733477
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23702) - you deserved it (6118)

On 12/13/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by soy_un_perderdor (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my furnace and all of my heating systems broke down. A fridge is 3 degrees Celsius; it is now 2 degrees Celsius in my house. I would be warmer in my fridge. FML

#6721732
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31871) - you deserved it (1974)

On 12/12/2009 at 11:55am - health - by FrozenD - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my son's dead goldfish. Apparently, when it died he didn't flush it. Instead he placed it in one of my socks, placed that sock in a jar, and set the jar in the back of my closet. The fish has been dead for over a month. FML

#6417968
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28874) - you deserved it (2396)

On 11/23/2009 at 2:31am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

#6299927
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8965) - you deserved it (28396)

On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I arranged the food on my plate in a smiley face to try and make myself feel better. I'm a 38 year old man. It worked. FML

#6186259
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31517) - you deserved it (5607)

On 11/06/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I went to get a haircut. The hairdresser at the counter was kind of cute, so I had to say something non-standard. When she greeted me with her hello, I replied "Guess what I need from you today?" She looked at me, considered, and replied "An eyebrow wax?" FML

#6118642
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8394) - you deserved it (36190)

On 11/02/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. I tried to "CTRL+Z" on something I wrote down on my paper. FML

#5580319
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9082) - you deserved it (37356)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:56am - misc - by slcbabii23 (woman) - United States (Missouri) - moderated by Kevin Nealon



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: