[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Emilythexenocide

Search for a member

Emilythexenocide
  • Town/Country : Salt Lake City, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 August 1984 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 703
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Emilythexenocide : Emilythexenocide@gmail.com

Emilythexenocide's last visitors

FreezeQuest_lets_be_ianmidnight92JustSoLostDJ_GrimMulberryLisimal

Emilythexenocide's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Emilythexenocide's favorite FMLs

Today, while playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, my phone rang, and I instinctively tried to pick it up with the Force. I kept trying until it stopped ringing. FML

#8480132 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (3708) - you deserved it (27451)

On 02/20/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by analinguist (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (11718) - you deserved it (28188)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was riding my dorm elevator from the 5th floor to the 1st by myself. Since the elevator is really slow, I pulled my pants and underwear down just for kicks. Just then, the door opened to let a girl on at the 4th floor. FML

#7450090 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (2789) - you deserved it (51577)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by embareassed (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML

#7243511 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (18396) - you deserved it (1886)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:23pm - animals - by targetlove (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

#7233088 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (13303) - you deserved it (4379)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

#7211272 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (18364) - you deserved it (2892)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:23am - misc - by StinkyCactus (man) - United States (Virginia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (5184) - you deserved it (39126)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

#6976806 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (34128) - you deserved it (2422)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my daughter thought that my new and expensive cologne smelled funny. She then decided to empty its contents down the toilet and refill the bottle with "nice-smelling things". I now smell like a mixture of chicken soup, my wife's perfume, tomato sauce and orange juice. FML

#6955245 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (21034) - you deserved it (2807)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:34am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore

Today, it's Saturday night. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get excited thinking about getting to sleep with a new pillow. FML

#6733477 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (16798) - you deserved it (4493)

On 12/13/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by soy_un_perderdor (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my furnace and all of my heating systems broke down. A fridge is 3 degrees Celsius; it is now 2 degrees Celsius in my house. I would be warmer in my fridge. FML

#6721732 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (22904) - you deserved it (1168)

On 12/12/2009 at 11:55am - health - by FrozenD - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my son's dead goldfish. Apparently, when it died he didn't flush it. Instead he placed it in one of my socks, placed that sock in a jar, and set the jar in the back of my closet. The fish has been dead for over a month. FML

#6417968 (36)

I agree, your life sucks (21465) - you deserved it (1638)

On 11/23/2009 at 2:31am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I am a science major. I was in lab all afternoon, and then had dinner with friends. After I left dinner, someone asked about the "fashion statement" and motioned to my head. I reached up and felt my lab goggles sitting on my hair like sunglasses; they had been there since I left the lab. FML

#6390551 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (6934) - you deserved it (15727)

On 11/21/2009 at 2:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

#6299927 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (5501) - you deserved it (17608)

On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I arranged the food on my plate in a smiley face to try and make myself feel better. I'm a 38 year old man. It worked. FML

#6186259 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (22029) - you deserved it (3843)

On 11/06/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)