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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Emilysia

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Emilysia
  • Town/Country : Peoria, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2145
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Emilysia : .·°º°·._·•·._.•« i ❤ my davids »•·._.·•·_.·°º°·.
i ☮ you.. teehee

Emilysia's last visitors

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Emilysia's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Emilysia's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML

#5102610 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (6144) - you deserved it (18082)

On 09/07/2009 at 10:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

#4994494 (45)

I agree, your life sucks (18968) - you deserved it (2465)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I noticed my wife makes more satisfied groans when she's taking a big dump than she does when we make love. FML

#4992534 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (16110) - you deserved it (4432)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by turdburger (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML

#4954327 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (13580) - you deserved it (6703)

On 08/31/2009 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by sadinthesack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML

#4936228 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (24423) - you deserved it (3265)

On 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (52116) - you deserved it (11878)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, after not having sex for nearly a year and a half, an opportunity arose. I couldn't get it up. FML

#4805329 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (47619) - you deserved it (7775)

On 08/25/2009 at 4:47am - intimacy - by 2yearsofHotSexThenThis (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was getting it on with a girl I've been talking to for three months. She's a year younger than me and it was her first time. So, I went easy. After five minutes she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said I remind her of her dad. FML

#4346574 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (60368) - you deserved it (4688)

On 08/06/2009 at 10:03pm - love - by Jeremy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

#3129056 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (40553) - you deserved it (1838)

On 06/22/2009 at 8:21pm - work - by the_captain (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

#3127990 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (38247) - you deserved it (7421)

On 06/22/2009 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

#2715001 (256)

I agree, your life sucks (56564) - you deserved it (4518)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

#2713232 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (10498) - you deserved it (62455)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I turned 30 years old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML

#2429850 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (44291) - you deserved it (1670)

On 05/30/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by willieboom (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML

#2428701 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (47723) - you deserved it (14601)

On 05/30/2009 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice "oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

#2308066 (257)

I agree, your life sucks (61072) - you deserved it (13543)

On 05/26/2009 at 12:53pm - intimacy - by alexis89 (woman) - United States (New York)