Emico

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Emico

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 31483
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Emico's page activity

Visits<b>atradr</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 3:28pm<b>trashyant</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 6:12pm<b>chandler88</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 11:07pm<b>jacklev</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Kazze</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 9:36am<b>VJARZIMWM</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 4:35am<b>xDochx</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 3:51pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:37am<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/14/2009 at 4:30pm<b>prplr</b> - the 09/06/2009 at 6:41am<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 8:27am<b>alicakes</b> - the 07/23/2009 at 8:47am<b>GoodAl</b> - the 07/17/2009 at 4:26pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 11:37pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 7:29pm<b>freaking</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 6:45pm<b>Zenma</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 6:45pm<b>ananke2989</b> - the 07/12/2009 at 5:57pm

Emico's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Emico's favorite FMLs

Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML

by JhKhS / 09/14/2009 at 6:05am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Money

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

by Curt / 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I was cutting the grass when I saw a man staring at me from my neighbor's garage. This went on for 5 minutes until I finally yelled 'hello'. There was no response, and I was creeped out, so I called my neighbor. It was a life-sized Paul McCartney cutout. FML

by cachow / 09/06/2009 at 12:35am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my 17th birthday. My mom forgot and my best friend is out of town. The highlight of my day? The guy at McDonalds slipped an extra apple pie in my bag. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2009 at 9:02pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

by ahhahaha / 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while spray painting a rocking horse for my kids I left the can outside in the sun. When I picked it up it was hot to the touch and I dropped it. It exploded on impact and now I am more blue than the rocking horse. FML

by usafprog / 07/27/2009 at 4:08pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love

Today, my parents are freaking at me because I just got my report and I failed my first year of college. They told me they have never been more disappointed in me. I have to tell them that I'm also pregnant. FML

by failure / 07/16/2009 at 12:25pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife gave me back my camera which she took on vacation to visit her parents with our 2-year old. I noticed the picture sequence had big gaps in the numbering. I ran an undelete on the card, and found 80+ pictures of her naked with another guy in her mom's bedroom. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2009 at 1:51am / United States (Texas) / Holidays

Today, I went to a pet store to adopt a dog. I got a medium sized lab, a dog crate, and a few toys, then put his crate in the back of my truck and the dog in his crate. On the way home I realized I forgot dog bowls and some dog food. I went back, and when I got back out to my truck, my dog was gone. My stereo too. FML

by doggone / 07/14/2009 at 4:55am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

by grannysmack / 07/11/2009 at 5:10am / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML

by Barista / 07/05/2009 at 1:21am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

by blazer / 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML

by OfCourse / 06/27/2009 at 1:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML

by traumatized / 06/18/2009 at 1:26am / United States / Miscellaneous