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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Emico

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Emico
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 29590
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Emico's favorite FMLs

Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML

#5247865 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (29576) - you deserved it (6608)

On 09/14/2009 at 6:05am - money - by JhKhS (man) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

#5082348 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (47860) - you deserved it (6375)

On 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm - health - by Curt (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was cutting the grass when I saw a man staring at me from my neighbor's garage. This went on for 5 minutes until I finally yelled 'hello'. There was no response, and I was creeped out, so I called my neighbor. It was a life-sized Paul McCartney cutout. FML

#5073384 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (7830) - you deserved it (22830)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by cachow (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was my 17th birthday. My mom forgot and my best friend is out of town. The highlight of my day? The guy at McDonalds slipped an extra apple pie in my bag. FML

#4719032 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (27704) - you deserved it (1784)

On 08/21/2009 at 9:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

#4462410 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (921) - you deserved it (2436)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, while spray painting a rocking horse for my kids I left the can outside in the sun. When I picked it up it was hot to the touch and I dropped it. It exploded on impact and now I am more blue than the rocking horse. FML

#4083142 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (30420) - you deserved it (14413)

On 07/27/2009 at 4:08pm - animals - by usafprog (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

#4046377 (746)

I agree, your life sucks (81745) - you deserved it (24050)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States

Today, my parents are freaking at me because I just got my report and I failed my first year of college. They told me they have never been more disappointed in me. I have to tell them that I'm also pregnant. FML

#3800582 (362)

I agree, your life sucks (16368) - you deserved it (64523)

On 07/16/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by failure - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my wife gave me back my camera which she took on vacation to visit her parents with our 2-year old. I noticed the picture sequence had big gaps in the numbering. I ran an undelete on the card, and found 80+ pictures of her naked with another guy in her mom's bedroom. FML

#3792104 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (72577) - you deserved it (2889)

On 07/16/2009 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a pet store to adopt a dog. I got a medium sized lab, a dog crate, and a few toys, then put his crate in the back of my truck and the dog in his crate. On the way home I realized I forgot dog bowls and some dog food. I went back, and when I got back out to my truck, my dog was gone. My stereo too. FML

#3739737 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (40251) - you deserved it (5485)

On 07/14/2009 at 4:55am - animals - by doggone (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

#3661940 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (36080) - you deserved it (4350)

On 07/11/2009 at 5:10am - work - by grannysmack (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML

#3495649 (319)

I agree, your life sucks (56286) - you deserved it (2492)

On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my daughter asked me what the youngest age you should start having sex is, being a good mother I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh...shoot." and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

#3344863 (484)

I agree, your life sucks (59153) - you deserved it (8374)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm - intimacy - by blazer - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML

#3264690 (278)

I agree, your life sucks (55396) - you deserved it (1854)

On 06/27/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by OfCourse (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML

#2984635 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (65714) - you deserved it (1866)

On 06/18/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States