Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Emico

Search for a member

Emico
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 30151
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Emico's last visitors

xDochxkayla_f_babyyyZenma

Emico's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Emico's favorite FMLs

Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML

#5247865
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31828) - you deserved it (6894)

On 09/14/2009 at 6:05am - money - by JhKhS (man) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

#5082348
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53554) - you deserved it (8102)

On 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm - health - by Curt (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was cutting the grass when I saw a man staring at me from my neighbor's garage. This went on for 5 minutes until I finally yelled 'hello'. There was no response, and I was creeped out, so I called my neighbor. It was a life-sized Paul McCartney cutout. FML

#5073384
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10261) - you deserved it (31401)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by cachow (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was my 17th birthday. My mom forgot and my best friend is out of town. The highlight of my day? The guy at McDonalds slipped an extra apple pie in my bag. FML

#4719032
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33556) - you deserved it (2534)

On 08/21/2009 at 9:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while spray painting a rocking horse for my kids I left the can outside in the sun. When I picked it up it was hot to the touch and I dropped it. It exploded on impact and now I am more blue than the rocking horse. FML

#4083142
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35922) - you deserved it (19235)

On 07/27/2009 at 4:08pm - animals - by usafprog (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my parents are freaking at me because I just got my report and I failed my first year of college. They told me they have never been more disappointed in me. I have to tell them that I'm also pregnant. FML

#3800582
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17936) - you deserved it (72261)

On 07/16/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by failure - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my wife gave me back my camera which she took on vacation to visit her parents with our 2-year old. I noticed the picture sequence had big gaps in the numbering. I ran an undelete on the card, and found 80+ pictures of her naked with another guy in her mom's bedroom. FML

#3792104
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82451) - you deserved it (3912)

On 07/16/2009 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a pet store to adopt a dog. I got a medium sized lab, a dog crate, and a few toys, then put his crate in the back of my truck and the dog in his crate. On the way home I realized I forgot dog bowls and some dog food. I went back, and when I got back out to my truck, my dog was gone. My stereo too. FML

#3739737
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47200) - you deserved it (7511)

On 07/14/2009 at 4:55am - animals - by doggone (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

#3661940
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41477) - you deserved it (5607)

On 07/11/2009 at 5:10am - work - by grannysmack (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

#3344863
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66604) - you deserved it (11169)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm - intimacy - by blazer - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML

#3264690
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59203) - you deserved it (2134)

On 06/27/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by OfCourse (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML

#2984635
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73042) - you deserved it (2601)

On 06/18/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: