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Elsan

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Elsan

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  • Number of visits : 3744
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Elsan's page activity

Visits<b>krazayman</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 9:21am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 8:20pm<b>PlaySpades</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 12:48pm<b>Zaqy</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 9:26pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:34pm<b>xfmylifexxx</b> - the 11/22/2009 at 12:58am<b>shmuh</b> - the 08/03/2009 at 8:12am

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Elsan's favorite FMLs

Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML

#14699033
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32921) - you deserved it (9406)

On 01/24/2011 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Limalia (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I realised that my husband's vows were actually the love speech from 'When Harry Met Sally'. This was made even more humiliating when I discovered that he hadn't even come up with the idea himself, he had seen it in an episode of Scrubs. FML

#14696997
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32715) - you deserved it (4605)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:50am - love - by tina247 -

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

#14659588
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14516) - you deserved it (26576)

On 01/21/2011 at 6:41am - love - by gummy bear -

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

#14656161
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22975) - you deserved it (3137)

On 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by Username -

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

#14653951
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40352) - you deserved it (3412)

On 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by fianceeless (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy who lives on the same floor as me in my apartment complex. I got stood up. Instead I got to listen to him doing the girl who lives next door to me. FML

#14647412
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29031) - you deserved it (2658)

On 01/20/2011 at 3:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML

#14605764
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54556) - you deserved it (4248)

On 01/16/2011 at 9:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML

#14604912
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22311) - you deserved it (2974)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:37pm - misc - by thisisme (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

#14575088
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17425) - you deserved it (30758)

On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

#14533477
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7631) - you deserved it (34694)

On 01/10/2011 at 2:06pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68582) - you deserved it (3648)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML

#14492583
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18856) - you deserved it (22591)

On 01/07/2011 at 12:46am - health - by biscuit (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after lifting a 20 pound box of oranges for a woman at work, she turned around to say "Your acne needs help." I still had to tell her to have a good day. FML

#14490477
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24159) - you deserved it (2542)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML

#14475268
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35000) - you deserved it (3611)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:25pm - work - by worksux (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML

#14381626
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8066) - you deserved it (47774)

On 12/29/2010 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



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