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Elsan

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Elsan

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5303
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Elsan's page activity

Visits<b>krazayman</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 9:21am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 8:20pm<b>PlaySpades</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 12:48pm<b>Zaqy</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 9:26pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:34pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:48pm<b>xfmylifexxx</b> - the 11/22/2009 at 12:58am<b>shmuh</b> - the 08/03/2009 at 8:12am

Elsan's FML badges

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Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Elsan's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33019) - you deserved it (3121)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I saw an attractive, thin woman eating a salad. Trying to be smooth, I approached her and told her that she didn't need to eat so scarcely, because she was beautiful. She promptly gave me a dirty look and informed me that she was a vegetarian. FML

#14895762
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10913) - you deserved it (45523)

On 02/08/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, after a huge heartbreak and a night of crying, I wake up to an empty house. I go in the kitchen to make breakfast and see a note on the counter saying "We heard you crying last night and didn't want to hear you complaining this morning, so we went to the mall. -Mom" FML

#14895293
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38692) - you deserved it (7886)

On 02/08/2011 at 12:21pm - love - by heartbroken - United States

Today, I spent most of the day doing a project for school. When I finished, I got a call from my project partner. She couldn't finish her part because her internet didn't work. When I finally finished everything, I went on Facebook. She was on Facebook too. FML

#14798107
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44188) - you deserved it (4388)

On 02/01/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by peachmelba (woman) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML

#14796617
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18787) - you deserved it (39205)

On 02/01/2011 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theshameofit (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, I wrote a 2000 word essay on "Las Vegas - The City That Never Sleeps". I was proud of my work, until someone pointed out that New York is "The City That Never Sleeps", not Vegas. FML

#14793954
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9499) - you deserved it (38155)

On 02/01/2011 at 5:35am - work - by mmaisie (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was woken up to my family surrounding me with breakfast in bed and sweet 16 balloons. My birthday is in 3 months, and I will be 17. FML

#14790484
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38114) - you deserved it (3824)

On 01/31/2011 at 6:11pm - misc - by ad4 - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50031) - you deserved it (8362)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50031) - you deserved it (8362)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML

#14789249
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36265) - you deserved it (4348)

On 01/31/2011 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by yournick (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I got married and I'd invited everyone from work including my boss. His way of congratulating me was to mention that I'm out of a job. He said it was a good time to do it because he thought I would be too happy or too drunk to care. FML

#14784693
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31674) - you deserved it (2515)

On 01/31/2011 at 4:28am - misc - by freckleboy422 - United States (California)

Today, I went out with a girl I like. After a movie, we went to McDonald's. There was this couple making out. The girl I was with remarked about how lame it would be to go to McDonald's on a date. I thought we were on a date. FML

#14780343
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22902) - you deserved it (35033)

On 01/30/2011 at 10:13pm - love - by gotnogame (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I received a text message from my wife who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends: "Have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you tomorrow morning." His? FML

#14768786
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46411) - you deserved it (4159) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2011 at 1:21am - love - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at my boyfriends place, I thought I would be nice by folding his laundry and putting it away since he was working late. I opened his sock drawer and sitting on top was a photo of his mother, naked. FML

#14753081
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54263) - you deserved it (4437)

On 01/29/2011 at 1:55am - intimacy - by FamilySecret - United States



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