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  • Number of visits : 6504
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Elsan's page activity

Visits<b>krazayman</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 9:21am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 8:20pm<b>PlaySpades</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 12:48pm<b>Zaqy</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 9:26pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:34pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:48pm<b>xfmylifexxx</b> - the 11/22/2009 at 12:58am<b>shmuh</b> - the 08/03/2009 at 8:12am

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Elsan's favorite FMLs

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 3:11am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Animals

Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML

by 1337fade / 04/07/2011 at 1:19am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

by anonymous / 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm / Kids

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

by dumped / 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

by crazystar69 / 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

by ghoul / 03/08/2011 at 6:32am / Animals

Today, I found out that if you cry yourself sleep and forget to take off your mascara, your top and bottom lashes will stick together. Leaving you unable to open your eyes. FML

by chelsea / 03/07/2011 at 5:23pm / Health

Today, I discovered that sea-sickness also applies when making love on my girlfriend's new water bed. FML

by dizzy / 03/07/2011 at 2:28am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

by Spooked / 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my mother noticed that I hadn't taken the trash out in a few weeks and angry, piled various full trash bags on my bed. I've been away on holiday for the past three weeks, I guess she didn't notice that part. FML

by carr / 03/04/2011 at 11:25am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

by panda / 03/03/2011 at 6:20am / Animals

Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML

by a / 03/01/2011 at 10:00am / Health

Today, I unclogged a toilet. With my hand. For the second time this week. FML

by handyjon / 02/28/2011 at 10:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

by stupiddrunk / 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health