Elsan

Search for a member

Elsan

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5916
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Elsan's page activity

Visits<b>krazayman</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 9:21am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 8:20pm<b>PlaySpades</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 12:48pm<b>Zaqy</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 9:26pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:34pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:48pm<b>xfmylifexxx</b> - the 11/22/2009 at 12:58am<b>shmuh</b> - the 08/03/2009 at 8:12am

Elsan's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Elsan's badges

Elsan's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML

by Dave / 09/27/2012 at 11:46am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2012 at 11:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, my mother shared my phone number with my brother, despite my explicit wishes that she didn't. He immediately went and put it on Craigslist and several other websites. This is the fourth time I've had to change my number for that very same reason. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2012 at 10:14am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML

by liquidknight / 09/10/2012 at 8:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

by DamnTornadoAlley / 08/30/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by picture, during a game of Draw Something. FML

by wtf / 08/26/2012 at 1:03am / New Zealand (Southland) / Love

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

by CierraJordan / 03/14/2012 at 7:31am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML

by h4rdy / 03/09/2012 at 11:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

by JukeboxValkyrie / 02/16/2012 at 2:52am / United States (Florida) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

by lotrgeek / 02/13/2012 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

by amythest / 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

by rapper in training / 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

by crybaby / 02/01/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

by sorrygrandma / 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous