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Elsan

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Elsan

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 3690
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Elsan's page activity

Visits<b>krazayman</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 9:21am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 8:20pm<b>PlaySpades</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 12:48pm<b>Zaqy</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 9:26pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:34pm<b>xfmylifexxx</b> - the 11/22/2009 at 12:58am<b>shmuh</b> - the 08/03/2009 at 8:12am

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Elsan's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML

#20090890
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25333) - you deserved it (1828)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML

#20090883
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27694) - you deserved it (1657)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:31am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother shared my phone number with my brother, despite my explicit wishes that she didn't. He immediately went and put it on Craigslist and several other websites. This is the fourth time I've had to change my number for that very same reason. FML

#20066134
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25064) - you deserved it (1975)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML

#20066095
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17144) - you deserved it (3401)

On 09/10/2012 at 8:48am - misc - by liquidknight - United States

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

#20048959
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32917) - you deserved it (2232)

On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by picture, during a game of Draw Something. FML

#20042043
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29070) - you deserved it (1993)

On 08/26/2012 at 1:03am - love - by wtf - New Zealand (Southland)

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

#19276451
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25850) - you deserved it (2304)

On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)

Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML

#19245135
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9726) - you deserved it (31534)

On 03/09/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by h4rdy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32087) - you deserved it (6166)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36806) - you deserved it (2691)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24444) - you deserved it (2582)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

#18966700
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29021) - you deserved it (3588)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

#18964784
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42386) - you deserved it (3720)

On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)



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