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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Elsan

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Elsan
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1557
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Elsan's favorite FMLs

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (2399) - you deserved it (390)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another racial background. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (5324) - you deserved it (305)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

#18966700 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (6250) - you deserved it (906)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

#18964784 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (12113) - you deserved it (1036)

On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188 (212)

I agree, your life sucks (7760) - you deserved it (1136)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435 (351)

I agree, your life sucks (11001) - you deserved it (2037)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my family took me to a steak house. I went for an eight minute bathroom break, coming back to an empty table. They ordered dessert, and left me the bill. I'm a vegetarian, and it's my birthday. FML

#18446136 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (10977) - you deserved it (1223)

On 12/06/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I photocopied several hundred pages of my school's textbook because I didn't want to buy it. My school later says to just buy it and it will be reimbursed. FML

#18399255 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (2645) - you deserved it (8461)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:52pm - work - by ChrisD2V - United States (California)

Today, after years of training myself to crave healthier foods in order to lose weight, I found out that some of my favorite health-foods actually aggravate my hypothyroidism, and indirectly reduce my metabolism. Broccoli and soybeans are making me fat. FML

#18271623 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (8158) - you deserved it (973)

On 11/17/2011 at 9:34am - health - by healthfoodshmealthfood - United States (New York)

Today, my elderly neighbor used his snowblower to send all of the fallen leaves in his yard into mine, which I'd raked earlier that morning. FML

#18271256 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (15769) - you deserved it (1279)

On 11/17/2011 at 7:43am - misc - by leaf hater - United States

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (13434) - you deserved it (1548)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253 (272)

I agree, your life sucks (17407) - you deserved it (2049)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I couldn't tell her where the vitamins were in the pharmacy. The manager came and yelled at me for being lazy and incompetent. I work in the store across the street from the pharmacy. FML

#18190059 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (22304) - you deserved it (1471)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:45am - work - by jodafish - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had botox injections to stop my face sweating so much. Now the sweat is almost gone, but my facial expression seems to be stuck on "baffled." FML

#18189475 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (3289) - you deserved it (9232)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got shot at. Not by police, but by a hunter. While at work. Driving a garbage truck. How the hell a hunter mistook an orange-clad garbageman in a truck for a deer is beyond me. FML

#18188542 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (10098) - you deserved it (776)

On 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by lprocter1982 - Canada (Ontario)