ElmoSaysSquishy

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Offline (the 12/27/2015 at 1:07am)

ElmoSaysSquishy

35Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 December 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3522
  • Number of comments : 301
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ElmoSaysSquishy : My name is Stephanie and I live in Scotland. I'm studying computing science at university. I'm in a long term relationship with a woman. I hardly ever check my messages.

ElmoSaysSquishy's page activity

Visits<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 4:32pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 6:00am<b>Dr_Awesome654</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 8:35pm<b>132ikl</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 11:41pm<b>ebroks</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 6:01am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 8:38am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 10:34am<b>UPTDraco</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 11:36am<b>lujainkh</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 9:37pm<b>manofmerr</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 5:03am<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 5:18pm<b>xfireds</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 10:55am<b>rivimatt</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 10:09pm<b>Jonjon554</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 7:32pm<b>maddiealexx_</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 4:02am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 7:30pm<b>10220706</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 2:44pm<b>MM100</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 6:36am

Fucked!<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 12:18pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 6:10pm<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 9:44am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 5:51am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 6:50am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:55am<b>arano</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 1:45pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 11:34pm<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 7:10pm<b>crishale</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 4:40pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 4:28pm<b>IndieCowboy</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 1:03pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 12:37pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 4:55am<b>sonshadsil94</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 2:35pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 3:45pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 2:50pm

ElmoSaysSquishy's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of ElmoSaysSquishy's badges

ElmoSaysSquishy's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

by bubbalicious / 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

by mcullen21 / 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

by NoBalls / 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

by SLA / 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids