ElmoSaysSquishy

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Offline (the 12/27/2015 at 1:07am)

ElmoSaysSquishy

35Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 December 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3524
  • Number of comments : 301
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ElmoSaysSquishy : My name is Stephanie and I live in Scotland. I'm studying computing science at university. I'm in a long term relationship with a woman. I hardly ever check my messages.

ElmoSaysSquishy's page activity

Visits<b>Jakey_Ringo</b> - 7 hours ago<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 4:32pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 6:00am<b>Dr_Awesome654</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 8:35pm<b>132ikl</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 11:41pm<b>ebroks</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 6:01am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 8:38am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 10:34am<b>UPTDraco</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 11:36am<b>lujainkh</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 9:37pm<b>manofmerr</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 5:03am<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 5:18pm<b>xfireds</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 10:55am<b>rivimatt</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 10:09pm<b>Jonjon554</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 7:32pm<b>maddiealexx_</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 4:02am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 7:30pm<b>10220706</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 2:44pm

Fucked!<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 12:18pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 6:10pm<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 9:44am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 5:51am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 6:50am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:55am<b>arano</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 1:45pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 11:34pm<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 7:10pm<b>crishale</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 4:40pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 4:28pm<b>IndieCowboy</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 1:03pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 12:37pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 4:55am<b>sonshadsil94</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 2:35pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 3:45pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 2:50pm

ElmoSaysSquishy's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of ElmoSaysSquishy's badges

ElmoSaysSquishy's favorite FMLs

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 12:40am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

by Hannah / 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, for my birthday, my family offered to take one of my friends to the movies with me. I had to pay a random person in my class to pose as a friend of mine, so that I wouldn't look pathetic in front of my parents. She forgot my name three times. They didn't buy it. FML

by Nofriends / 07/09/2012 at 7:44am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

by miss tomato / 06/08/2012 at 12:36pm / United States / Health

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

by gottalovefriends / 04/23/2012 at 12:04am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML

by Fillifilo / 04/18/2012 at 12:38am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

by Quackers / 04/11/2012 at 11:39am / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

by displeased / 04/05/2012 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

by blueglover / 03/27/2012 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

by pmek / 03/26/2012 at 5:11am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML

by christine brown / 08/26/2011 at 8:03am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

by Wisconsin love / 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous