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ElmoSaysSquishy

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ElmoSaysSquishy
  • Town/Country : Glasgow, United Kingdom
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1256
  • Number of comments : 179
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ElmoSaysSquishy : My name is Stephanie, I'm 17 and I live in Scotland. I'm still in high school but I'm in my last year and as of September I hope to be studying Computing Science at university. I'm on the Android app so probably won't reply to messages.

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ElmoSaysSquishy's favorite FMLs

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8844) - you deserved it (31187)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, for my birthday, my family offered to take one of my friends to the movies with me. I had to pay a random person in my class to pose as a friend of mine, so that I wouldn't look pathetic in front of my parents. She forgot my name three times. They didn't buy it. FML

#19913768
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12545) - you deserved it (13828)

On 07/09/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by Nofriends (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

#19755042
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14103) - you deserved it (3604)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:36pm - health - by miss tomato (woman) - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21747) - you deserved it (3610)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

#19449312
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5680) - you deserved it (26882)

On 04/11/2012 at 11:39am - animals - by Quackers (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28316) - you deserved it (2015)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

#19355965
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13703) - you deserved it (2158)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

#19349740
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19398) - you deserved it (1827)

On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML

#17584476
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24298) - you deserved it (2294)

On 08/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by christine brown - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91460) - you deserved it (10767)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33522) - you deserved it (8030)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51054) - you deserved it (11675)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30730) - you deserved it (71480)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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