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ElmoSaysSquishy

Offline (the 12/26/2013 at 11:53pm) | Search for a member

ElmoSaysSquishy

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 December 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2142
  • Number of comments : 265
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ElmoSaysSquishy : My name is Stephanie and I live in Scotland. I'm studying computing science at university. I have a girlfriend named Jade whom I've been with for over 4 years. I hardly ever check my messages.

ElmoSaysSquishy's page activity

Visits<b>JMichael</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:34pm<b>Mike_Sweatpants</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:38am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 3:29am<b>Baucis</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:18pm<b>MortenM</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:21pm<b>jagma</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 11:21am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 11:06am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 4:36pm<b>poulkrebs</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:47am<b>WarriorBl00d</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 1:58pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 9:35am<b>times22</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 9:12am<b>123765</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 7:32pm<b>facelick</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:55pm<b>postmeridian</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 11:48am<b>KushCrushin89</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 2:11am<b>durkagihad</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 1:44pm<b>yerawizardlizzy</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 1:43pm

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ElmoSaysSquishy's favorite FMLs

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

#20862628
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44040) - you deserved it (3084)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:40am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

#20723435
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60075) - you deserved it (5414)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Hannah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10669) - you deserved it (36745)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, for my birthday, my family offered to take one of my friends to the movies with me. I had to pay a random person in my class to pose as a friend of mine, so that I wouldn't look pathetic in front of my parents. She forgot my name three times. They didn't buy it. FML

#19913768
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16327) - you deserved it (20670)

On 07/09/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by Nofriends (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

#19755042
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19317) - you deserved it (4904)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:36pm - health - by miss tomato (woman) - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27555) - you deserved it (4212)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

#19449312
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7549) - you deserved it (31824)

On 04/11/2012 at 11:39am - animals - by Quackers (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36258) - you deserved it (2992)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

#19355965
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18692) - you deserved it (3138)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

#19349740
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26473) - you deserved it (2735)

On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML

#17584476
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30020) - you deserved it (3207)

On 08/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by christine brown - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112016) - you deserved it (15209)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40100) - you deserved it (9871)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58359) - you deserved it (15060)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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