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Ellamore's favorite FMLs
by ohmylantis / 05/04/2011 at 10:50am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, "Wow, what's that, your change purse?" He replied, "No, I'm diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor." FML
by Cuppycake / 05/04/2011 at 1:33am / Canada / Health
by crizzy / 04/23/2011 at 8:08pm / United States / Love
by Milly / 01/30/2011 at 2:25pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy
by gorillalove / 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML
by Emily / 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
by guyshithappensto / 05/21/2010 at 10:41pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by darthmilfious / 03/31/2010 at 3:56am / Intimacy
Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML
by justlittleoldme / 03/12/2010 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love
Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML
by jeeperspeepers / 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by helpfulmom / 07/26/2009 at 2:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML
by spitballer1 / 07/06/2009 at 12:54pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I was driving 3 of my guy friends to a party that was half an hour away. There was an awkward silence for most of the trip. I just figured out why now. I've had sex with all 3 of my guy friends. They talk about it when I'm not around. FML
by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 7:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML
by ilikeirishducks / 06/19/2009 at 9:51am / Italy / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/10/2009 at 9:12am / United States (Maine) / Kids
- Today, I got braces. When I showed my mom, she said, "At least you'll lose weight because you can't… Today, I got very drunk at a party and didn't know how to get home. I spent an hour walking along… Today, like every other day, I woke up and made myself a cup of coffee using my French press. After…