Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Elizabethio

Search for a member

Elizabethio

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 981
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Elizabethio : My name is Elizabeth. I love animals, especially dogs. I also love my family and my awesome boyfriend.

Elizabethio's page activity

Visits<b>ThatGuyWithFMLs</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 4:43am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 7:25am<b>uoeno</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 2:20pm<b>YoureABuzzkill</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 10:13pm<b>Terri_Dactal</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 1:18am<b>duck313</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 9:15pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 6:34pm<b>ChateauShea</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 5:36pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 4:32pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 8:21pm<b>kpc2424</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 11:00pm<b>miss_chriss</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 5:58pm<b>challan</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 2:17pm<b>Wildwalker</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 4:46am<b>ksuth</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 6:01am<b>96bart96</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 8:33pm<b>michaelf461</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 9:16am<b>happylappy</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 4:21am

Elizabethio's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Elizabethio's badges

Elizabethio's favorite FMLs

Today, I got the DVD back from a dance concert I did. After watching it, I realised that I had a camel toe through the whole thing. Three and a half hours. FML

#20992052
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40942) - you deserved it (6602)

On 12/14/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Aggie_De (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47406) - you deserved it (4107)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

#20867417
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48998) - you deserved it (2512)

On 09/04/2013 at 11:59am - work - by resurrected - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

#20867249
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32924) - you deserved it (10344)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

#20857055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38137) - you deserved it (7562)

On 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm - misc - by sweetnan (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

#20856004
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35966) - you deserved it (4019)

On 08/27/2013 at 12:36am - kids - by Parenting... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

#20799228
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59986) - you deserved it (7814)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

#20648219
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42258) - you deserved it (3146)

On 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by fuckingjesusgran (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML

#20647224
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62004) - you deserved it (11957)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Sirah90 (woman) - United States

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53372) - you deserved it (8643)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

#20544356
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38954) - you deserved it (5676)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:44am - misc - by fmlman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

#20529430
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32005) - you deserved it (5396)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by FUCKKKS (man) - United States

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36856) - you deserved it (2410)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

#20461046
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42786) - you deserved it (7089)

On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML

#20445318
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22540) - you deserved it (1757)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:50pm - misc - by HatedGrandson - United States



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: