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EliteTricky's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 7:01am / United States / Intimacy
by he is going to hell / 09/18/2012 at 5:46pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML
by oops / 07/15/2012 at 1:34am / United States / Intimacy
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation
Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML
by beautyschool22 / 06/11/2012 at 7:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I moved into a new house. The landlord insists it's OK for her to come up whenever she wants because she owns the house. We aren't allowed to lock the doors and she has two 8-year-olds. They come into the bathroom every time they hear the shower running. We have a clear shower curtain. FML
by HELP / 06/06/2012 at 9:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
by A-64 / 05/08/2012 at 4:48pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/30/2012 at 3:45am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
by gengiskarn69 / 03/12/2012 at 10:55am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Miss_Kristen / 02/26/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by robzzz / 02/16/2012 at 2:13am / Canada / Intimacy
by johncabbot25 / 12/23/2011 at 5:53am / Canada / Love
by tacoboy27 / 12/21/2011 at 12:39pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by annoyed / 12/14/2011 at 9:06am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, I was getting dressed in my bedroom with the blinds open and had nothing covering my top half. I thought my neighbours wouldn't be able to see in through all the trees, that was until I heard someone wolf whistle and one of my neighbours running away. FML
by nakedness / 12/10/2011 at 8:35pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous