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Elissaa

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Elissaa
  • Town/Country : Dreamland, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 December 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 849
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Elissaa : Hi I'm Elissa. I like girls and boys and popcorn and sex and Mariah Carey.
I'm also a sarcastic bitch and I tend to offend people on a daily basis
That's all you need to know
Thanks for visiting.
Have a day :)

Elissaa's last visitors

Miss_lunaticdaisyreebabiirawrrmarleytooyouJustSoLostkpark115Monikabug

Elissaa's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Elissaa's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

#9030368
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21342) - you deserved it (2234)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38696) - you deserved it (8816)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, feeling down and dejected because of the shitty weather and none of my friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took my favorite stuffed animal and that says 'I love you' when you squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. FML

#8699451
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23482) - you deserved it (5841)

On 02/27/2010 at 8:32pm - love - by dejected (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34623) - you deserved it (3109)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML

#7261053
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30649) - you deserved it (2412)

On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States

Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML

#7228897
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7407) - you deserved it (27839)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7561) - you deserved it (55074)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42294) - you deserved it (2693)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband left his cell phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being a very curious person, I decided to call "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

#6192797
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32798) - you deserved it (13813)

On 11/07/2009 at 5:22am - misc - by badwife (woman) - Japan

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28874) - you deserved it (7979)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57155) - you deserved it (6893)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML

#1292043
386 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65430) - you deserved it (6852)

On 04/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

#1152672
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98196) - you deserved it (5784)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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