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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1393
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Elissaa : Hi I'm Elissa. I like girls and boys and popcorn and sex and Mariah Carey.
I'm also a sarcastic bitch and I tend to offend people on a daily basis
That's all you need to know
Thanks for visiting.
Have a day :)

Elissaa's page activity

Visits<b>otecasacid</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 5:13am<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 12:26am<b>FML_IamBored</b> - the 04/29/2010 at 8:20am<b>Miss_lunatic</b> - the 04/27/2010 at 9:21am<b>daisyree</b> - the 04/20/2010 at 5:53pm<b>nicooface</b> - the 04/16/2010 at 12:08pm<b>AnnyPants</b> - the 04/13/2010 at 6:31am<b>babiirawrr</b> - the 04/11/2010 at 10:17pm<b>marleytooyou</b> - the 04/06/2010 at 8:22pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 04/03/2010 at 9:43pm<b>kpark115</b> - the 04/02/2010 at 4:18pm<b>Monikabug</b> - the 03/30/2010 at 6:29pm<b>eggbrtshootsfire</b> - the 03/28/2010 at 12:28pm<b>aardvarkish</b> - the 03/27/2010 at 6:04am<b>ugh_a_lug</b> - the 03/24/2010 at 7:31pm<b>Haileyw15</b> - the 03/22/2010 at 6:55pm<b>alex_vik</b> - the 03/20/2010 at 12:30am<b>Chocolatine</b> - the 03/20/2010 at 12:22am

Elissaa's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Elissaa's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, feeling down and dejected because of the shitty weather and none of my friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took my favorite stuffed animal and that says 'I love you' when you squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. FML

by dejected / 02/27/2010 at 8:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

by Dog fart / 02/13/2010 at 11:08am / United States / Animals

Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML

by daragnan / 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2010 at 12:58am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 3:06am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized build-a-bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear "we should break up" instead. FML

by samgonzalessb / 12/14/2009 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

by annonymous / 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband left his cell phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being a very curious person, I decided to call "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

by badwife / 11/07/2009 at 5:22am / Japan / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

by sad_dad / 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

by ohgod / 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids

Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML

by anonymous / 04/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

by TMI / 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy