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About Elissaa : Hi I'm Elissa. I like girls and boys and popcorn and sex and Mariah Carey.
I'm also a sarcastic bitch and I tend to offend people on a daily basis
That's all you need to know
Thanks for visiting.
Have a day :)
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
TODAY , MAH GRLFRIEND GOT INTO A HUGE FIGHT WITH HER MOM OVER THE PHONE. AFTER THE FIGHT , SHE LOOKED READY TO CRY SO I WENT OVER TO COMFORT HER. SHE WENT STRAIGHT PAST ME , AND STARTED CONFIDING IN HER CREEPY , EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE DOLLS INSTEAD. FML
yesterday feeling down an dejected because of the shitty weather an none of mah friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took mah favorite stuffed animal an that says 'I love you'hen u squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. real FML
2DAY MY SISTER AN I BOUGHT NEW CELL PHONES. WE BOTH WANTED THE SAME PHONE IN RED , BUT THE GUY TOLD US THAT THERE WAS ONLY ONE RED PHONE LEFT. FLIRTING WITH HIM , I SAID "YOU SHOULD GIVE THE PRETTIER SISTER THE RED PHONE." MY NEW PHONE IS BLACK. FML
Today , I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom , I started singing , "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML
Today... my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized build-a-bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it... only to press the foot of the bear and hear ( we should break up ) instead. mega FML
Today, I was in line at te grocery store wit ma 3-year-old son!! He was olding a tub of yogurt tat ad on it a cow wereing sunglasses!! He souted, "Mommy, look at te fat cow wit te sunglasse on!" To ma orror, te obese woman in front of us turned around!! Se was wereing sunglasses!! FML
Taday I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower , I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower , instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower , making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stond and passd out in our dog's bd. My dad was drunk, yelling ( who's yur daddy ) at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, ( what the hell happend to my life ) look on her face. FML
today I startd my period . I am getting marrid tomorrow . So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big . FML
TODAY, I WAS EMAILING MAH PROFESSOR ABOUT WAT CHAPTERS OUR TEST IS ON THIS AFTERNOON. SHE ACCIDENTALLY EMAILD ME INFORMING ME OF THE DATE SHE WENT ON LAST NIGHT, INCLUDING THAT SHE ( GOT LAID... YAY!! ) AN A PICTURE. I STILL DON'T KNOW WAT CHAPTERS I'M BEING TESTD ON. FML
Friday 27 March 2015