Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Elissaa

Search for a member

Elissaa

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 December 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1080
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Elissaa : Hi I'm Elissa. I like girls and boys and popcorn and sex and Mariah Carey.
I'm also a sarcastic bitch and I tend to offend people on a daily basis
That's all you need to know
Thanks for visiting.
Have a day :)

Elissaa's page activity

Visits<b>otecasacid</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 5:13am<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 12:26am<b>FML_IamBored</b> - the 04/29/2010 at 8:20am<b>Miss_lunatic</b> - the 04/27/2010 at 9:21am<b>daisyree</b> - the 04/20/2010 at 5:53pm<b>nicooface</b> - the 04/16/2010 at 12:08pm<b>AnnyPants</b> - the 04/13/2010 at 6:31am<b>babiirawrr</b> - the 04/11/2010 at 10:17pm<b>marleytooyou</b> - the 04/06/2010 at 8:22pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 04/03/2010 at 9:43pm<b>kpark115</b> - the 04/02/2010 at 4:18pm<b>Monikabug</b> - the 03/30/2010 at 6:29pm<b>eggbrtshootsfire</b> - the 03/28/2010 at 12:28pm<b>aardvarkish</b> - the 03/27/2010 at 6:04am<b>ugh_a_lug</b> - the 03/24/2010 at 7:31pm<b>Haileyw15</b> - the 03/22/2010 at 6:55pm<b>alex_vik</b> - the 03/20/2010 at 12:30am<b>Chocolatine</b> - the 03/20/2010 at 12:22am

Elissaa's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Elissaa's favorite FMLs

TODAY , MAH GRLFRIEND GOT INTO A HUGE FIGHT WITH HER MOM OVER THE PHONE. AFTER THE FIGHT , SHE LOOKED READY TO CRY SO I WENT OVER TO COMFORT HER. SHE WENT STRAIGHT PAST ME , AND STARTED CONFIDING IN HER CREEPY , EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE DOLLS INSTEAD. FML

#9030368
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26351) - you deserved it (2669)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

a really hot guy smackd my ass . I fartd . FML

#8751188
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44746) - you deserved it (9855)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

yesterday feeling down an dejected because of the shitty weather an none of mah friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took mah favorite stuffed animal an that says 'I love you'hen u squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. real FML

#8699451
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25937) - you deserved it (6166)

On 02/27/2010 at 8:32pm - love - by dejected (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, ma dog fartd naxt to ma CPAP slaap/braating macina !! Ta macina suckd up ar fart, comprassd it, and looool promptly injactd it up bot of ma nostrils !! big fat FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39328) - you deserved it (3460)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

TODAY, I FOUND OUT THAT LAST SUMMER WHILE MAH GIRLFRIEND WORKED ON A DISNEY CRUISE SHIP, SHE CHEATED ON ME WITH TARZAN. FML

#7261053
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33963) - you deserved it (2654)

On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States

2DAY MY SISTER AN I BOUGHT NEW CELL PHONES. WE BOTH WANTED THE SAME PHONE IN RED , BUT THE GUY TOLD US THAT THERE WAS ONLY ONE RED PHONE LEFT. FLIRTING WITH HIM , I SAID "YOU SHOULD GIVE THE PRETTIER SISTER THE RED PHONE." MY NEW PHONE IS BLACK. FML

#7228897
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9746) - you deserved it (38155)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today , I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom , I started singing , "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8521) - you deserved it (58481)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in line at te grocery store wit ma 3-year-old son!! He was olding a tub of yogurt tat ad on it a cow wereing sunglasses!! He souted, "Mommy, look at te fat cow wit te sunglasse on!" To ma orror, te obese woman in front of us turned around!! Se was wereing sunglasses!! FML

#6533285
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45868) - you deserved it (2986)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

My Husband Left His Cell Phone At Home. I Lookd Through His Contacts And Found A Person Namd "The Bitch." Bieng A Very Curious Person, I Decidd To Call "The Bitch" To Seeho It Was. My Phone Rang. FML

#6192797
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36544) - you deserved it (15188)

On 11/07/2009 at 5:22am - misc - by badwife (woman) - Japan

Taday I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower , I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower , instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower , making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33953) - you deserved it (8868)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60031) - you deserved it (7170)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

today I startd my period . I am getting marrid tomorrow . So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big . FML

#1292043
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76179) - you deserved it (8951)

On 04/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

TODAY, I WAS EMAILING MAH PROFESSOR ABOUT WAT CHAPTERS OUR TEST IS ON THIS AFTERNOON. SHE ACCIDENTALLY EMAILD ME INFORMING ME OF THE DATE SHE WENT ON LAST NIGHT, INCLUDING THAT SHE ( GOT LAID... YAY!! ) AN A PICTURE. I STILL DON'T KNOW WAT CHAPTERS I'M BEING TESTD ON. FML

#1152672
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105505) - you deserved it (6455)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: