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Eivana

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Eivana
  • Town/Country : Six Feet Under, In My Grave
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 4540
  • Number of comments : 208
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About Eivana : I'm Kamon.
"I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."


Call me Kamon. You won't catch me on the RPG scene much, but when it comes to survival horrors, you got me. I love writing stories and playing video games. I love Slender Man and Pokemon, Digimon or BeyBlade. I'm picky about my music. There isn't a specific band that I like, but I like many different songs. My favorite Pokemon is Weavile. Drop me a line if you want.

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Eivana's FML badges

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Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML

#21027083
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43963) - you deserved it (4923)

On 01/13/2014 at 10:31pm - misc - by ShelterForTheHomless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I were watching a football game. While someone was about to score, she started screaming, "Go!" and "Come on! You can do it! Go baby, go!" My first thought was that I wished I could still make her scream like that. FML

#21026614
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46999) - you deserved it (9162)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

#21026318
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21348) - you deserved it (47511)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30281) - you deserved it (37457)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML

#21025526
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44069) - you deserved it (2953)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54144) - you deserved it (5406)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was getting ready for a night out with the girls, and without any hint of trickery, just wanting an honest answer, I asked my boyfriend how I looked in the dress I chose. He immediately dropped to his knees, yelled, "NOOOOOOOOO!" and calmly left the room. FML

#21024776
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36067) - you deserved it (7668)

On 01/11/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by -_-" (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

#21023934
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44415) - you deserved it (8167)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML

#21019530
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37632) - you deserved it (7173)

On 01/06/2014 at 9:25pm - kids - by peepeepainter - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized I'm so socially awkward that I can't even talk to Siri without stuttering. FML

#21018050
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38509) - you deserved it (4706)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:59pm - love - by stopstutteringforSiri - United States

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

#21016902
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41916) - you deserved it (4557)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I did a bike ride and run with a gent I'm serious about. On the run, I had a big lead until he passed me up saying, "I'm going to marry you." Puzzled that he would propose and then sprint away leaving me trailing, he clarified at the finish. His words: "I'm going to bury you." FML

#21014028
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35072) - you deserved it (4123)

On 01/02/2014 at 8:17am - love - by Babs - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML

#21011731
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38695) - you deserved it (4342)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:57pm - love - by thisisavirus.exe (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

#21011563
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38126) - you deserved it (2906)

On 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm - misc - by awkword (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML

#21011242
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40522) - you deserved it (5644)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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