Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eivana

Offline (the 02/05/2016 at 3:55am) | Search for a member

Eivana

44Fucked!

EivanaEivana
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 58532
  • Number of comments : 296
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 58 posted

About Eivana : "I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."

"Ahh, the past. The only thing dead that smells good."

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - yesterday at 7:46am<b>fufufe</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 8:18am<b>yourmomshotfirst</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 6:45pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 6:03pm<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 8:54am<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 9:07am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 9:43pm<b>taranoelr</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:11pm<b>Leo619</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 5:35pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 12:19pm<b>Chief_leif</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 11:20am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 2:20am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 10:12pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 2:36pm<b>toastbrot</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 1:18pm<b>TreeTreeMan</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:28pm<b>foxbryan13</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:06am<b>TheDragonsGuard</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 4:59pm

Fucked!<b>Xaian1</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 12:21pm<b>TransitLetum</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:38pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 6:24pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:15am<b>boultzboi</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 11:01pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:53am<b>brandonwong</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:20am<b>bubsenn</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:41pm<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:51am<b>imkool136</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:07pm<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:05am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:46am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 6:45pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 5:36pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 6:55am<b>jacky75</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 3:26am<b>bambixhooker</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 9:01pm

Eivana's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the airport waiting for my flight to leave for Hawaii when I received an urgent call from my neighbour saying that my house had been broken into. After rushing home and missing my flight, I had to explain to the police that my house wasn't burgled, it was just very messy. FML

#21486494
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22232) - you deserved it (5617)

On 10/31/2015 at 12:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sunderland)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She got incredibly excited and started flapping her hands around. Then she suddenly went deadpan and said "But seriously... no." FML

#21486387
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26201) - you deserved it (1747)

On 10/31/2015 at 3:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my stomach growled so loud in class that a boy sitting next to me thought his phone had vibrated. FML

#21486017
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21005) - you deserved it (1936)

On 10/29/2015 at 11:21pm - misc - by qourt - United States

Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML

#21485867
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27395) - you deserved it (2743)

On 10/29/2015 at 4:02pm - kids - by caroline (woman) - Germany

Today, I went to a costume contest as Jon Snow from Game of Thrones. I won, which was nice, until I was told that the only flaws in my "Samwell Tarly" outfit were my long hair and wrong sword. FML

#21485861
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20326) - you deserved it (2620)

On 10/29/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by Fat Jon - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I got so desperate for cash that I decided to start selling my used panties online. FML

#21485715
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23009) - you deserved it (6471)

On 10/29/2015 at 4:58am - intimacy - by Natasha (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML

#21485396
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22942) - you deserved it (2899)

On 10/28/2015 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy lately, so I arranged the pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face to cheer myself up. The pizza burned. FML

#21485281
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25152) - you deserved it (3299)

On 10/28/2015 at 12:11am - misc - by welp - United States (Missouri)

Today, a colleague found out that I struggled with anorexia when young. After ranting about how it's a silly 'Women's disease', he renamed me 'Miss Piggy' and made oinking noises every time I ate something. FML

#21484484
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33756) - you deserved it (2109)

On 10/26/2015 at 4:27am - work - by missPiggy (man) - Norway

Today, I was intently watching my odometer to see it change from 99,999 to 100,000 when I ran into the back of another vehicle. FML

#21484127
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12625) - you deserved it (29579)

On 10/25/2015 at 9:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up at 2am and went to use the toilet. I sat there doing my business, when I heard a voice whisper my name from behind me. I live alone and the toilet is right up against the wall. I screamed and ran back to my room, then went without sleep for the rest of the night. FML

#21483477
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25008) - you deserved it (2286)

On 10/23/2015 at 4:41pm - misc - by haunted (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I cried my eyes out for hours over the guy who dumped me 9 years ago. FML

#21483450
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22998) - you deserved it (2740)

On 10/23/2015 at 2:56pm - love - by shakira, when the walls fell (woman) - Canada

Today, my classmate went into rage mode and cursed at me, complaining how it's so unfair that I'm allowed to wear a hijab in class but she isn't allowed to wear a Flamingo hat. FML

#21483299
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26290) - you deserved it (6069)

On 10/23/2015 at 4:17am - work - by idontmakethedresscode - United States (California)

Today, my two sons were fighting. I had to shout, "Give me that pillow" - the object over which they were quarrelling - and put them into two separate rooms. My sons are 12 and 15. FML

#21483019
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19835) - you deserved it (2813)

On 10/22/2015 at 3:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML

#21482431
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36050) - you deserved it (2315)

On 10/21/2015 at 12:46am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: