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Eivana

Offline (the 03/13/2014 at 6:21pm) | Search for a member

Eivana

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8939
  • Number of comments : 217
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About Eivana : I'm Kamon.
"I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."


Call me Kamon. You won't catch me on the RPG scene much, but when it comes to survival horrors, you got me. I love writing stories and playing video games. I love Slender Man and Pokemon, Digimon or BeyBlade. I'm picky about my music. There isn't a specific band that I like, but I like many different songs. My favorite Pokemon is Weavile. Drop me a line if you want.

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>ervnomyous</b> - 17 hours ago<b>bossness061</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 10:46pm<b>SAspring</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:27am<b>Maiko_rayquaza</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:19pm<b>Miizuo</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:29pm<b>asi_nette</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:56pm<b>patd77</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:54am<b>abylenee_</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 8:51pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 7:25pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:11am<b>rebeltw</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:32pm<b>ZaroraQuinsey</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:00am<b>Oihana</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 9:13am<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 12:17am<b>cookycoconut</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 9:10pm<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 12:07am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 1:00pm<b>Hasee</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 10:22am

Eivana's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML

#21146270
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53144) - you deserved it (4342)

On 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm - misc - by Q - United States

Today, in the middle of my boyfriend finally giving me an orgasm, I had an anxiety attack, which caused him to have an attack of his own. I guess there is such a thing as having too much in common with your partner. FML

#21146226
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47106) - you deserved it (5462)

On 05/20/2014 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

#21145558
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44654) - you deserved it (4724)

On 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm - kids - by Baby eater - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned brood mare." FML

#21144074
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37824) - you deserved it (8610)

On 05/18/2014 at 3:14pm - misc - by Anonyname (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was on my way to my first job interview in months. I wasn't even halfway to the place when a bunch of cockbites in a car drove past and hurled a bucket of paint out the window, drenching me and several other people on the street. FML

#21143094
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45636) - you deserved it (3155)

On 05/17/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by spasti-cunt (woman) - Ireland

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

#21142020
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40860) - you deserved it (8120)

On 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

#21141244
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38385) - you deserved it (16175)

On 05/15/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by NickJJ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

#21139954
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43210) - you deserved it (5974)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my son has a new hobby after seeing a picture on the internet: putting realistic-looking stickers of spiders at the bottom of my coffee mugs. My wife was scared half to death this morning after downing a cup of coffee and then glancing the cup's bottom. FML

#21139841
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35222) - you deserved it (3761)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by itwasathtebottomofmycoffeemug (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML

#21139663
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37429) - you deserved it (7534)

On 05/14/2014 at 1:45pm - work - by workfordayzz - United States

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

#21138864
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49969) - you deserved it (6273)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML

#21138836
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52885) - you deserved it (8368)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:02pm - animals - by dating a big bag of dicks (woman) - United States

Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML

#21138042
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53996) - you deserved it (6402)

On 05/12/2014 at 7:49pm - love - by nofatchicks (woman) - United States (Florida)



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