Eivana

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Offline (the 08/25/2016 at 4:29am)

Eivana

47Fucked!

EivanaEivana
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 64102
  • Number of comments : 303
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 60 posted

About Eivana : "I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."

"Ahh, the past. The only thing dead that smells good."

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>Overdue</b> - 13 hours ago<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 11:59pm<b>Hutchie931</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 11:52am<b>tim374</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 10:55pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 12:13pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 12:35am<b>symphonicmetal</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 3:49am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 9:16am<b>greenfishbait</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 2:15am<b>fariss</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 1:18pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 4:51am<b>mr_dour</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 5:10am<b>max367</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 1:15am<b>Shay_Shay97</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 2:29am<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 3:04pm<b>thunderstoerms</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 3:32am<b>Sierra120</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 1:33pm<b>pinksb</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 1:49pm

Fucked!<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 5:59am<b>Rockinroyaltyx3</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:55pm<b>PineappleTango12</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 3:10am<b>Xaian1</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 12:21pm<b>TransitLetum</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:38pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 6:24pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:15am<b>boultzboi</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 11:01pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:53am<b>brandonwong</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:20am<b>bubsenn</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:41pm<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:51am<b>imkool136</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:07pm<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:05am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:46am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 6:45pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 5:36pm

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Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML

by bob the builders pissed off daughter / 12/29/2015 at 6:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I installed motion sensor lights in my house to save on energy. When I laid down in bed, I saw the lights turn on from downstairs to the kitchen. I live alone. FML

by zzarzzur / 12/29/2015 at 4:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today at work, a woman decided to use the changing room as a public toilet, to wipe the urine with the clothes she tried on, then leave the mess along with her soiled underwear and a used maxi pad for me to clean up. FML

by peachass / 12/28/2015 at 11:59pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML

by whatthefuck / 12/27/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my wife yelling at my 11-year-old because she found porn on the laptop. Now I have to come clean and tell her it was me so I can get him off the hook. FML

by oldskoolfun / 12/26/2015 at 6:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I was babysitting. As I went to leave the bathroom, someone grabbed the knob and pulled the door shut. I figured it was one of the kids and told them to knock it off. A second later, the grip let off. There was no one there and the kids were still asleep. I don't know what to think. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 11:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I showed my husband a recipe for the meal I wanted us to make tonight. He saw cumin was an ingredient and broke into hysterics. By the time he managed to stop laughing, he gasped that he couldn't eat something "with cumin it" and broke down laughing again. FML

by -__- / 12/26/2015 at 8:41am / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 3:29am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I passed a printout over my shoulder to my mum, I managed to give myself a papercut on my tear duct. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2015 at 12:11pm / Germany / Health

Today, I called the HR department of a big company, inquiring about a vacancy for a website designer. Boy, do they need one; there are dead links, malware warnings, and a layout from the '90s, but no info at all about recruitment. The lady just angrily referred me to the website and hung up. FML

by vicious circle / 12/22/2015 at 8:08am / Sint Maarten (Dutch part) / Work

Today, my friends and I were going to Applebee's. A girl we don't like invited herself along. She waited for my friend outside of the bathroom, forced her to drive her, and said, "It's okay someone will pay for me." She then ate off of everyone's plate and left before the bill came. FML

by RUFckingSrs / 12/21/2015 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, the man I have been in a long-distance relationship with for 2 years told me he has been cheating on me for 6 months, and that he's leaving me for her. I'm due to fly out to see him next week on a non-refundable ticket. He insists that, "we can still hang out, just not have sex". FML

by Sadginger / 12/21/2015 at 6:45pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy

Today, my relatives told me that when I stay at their house for the holidays, I'm no longer allowed to be out past 10 because somebody drugged my drink once. I'm a 25 year old man. FML

by letstradefamilies / 12/21/2015 at 4:50pm / United States (California) / Holidays

Today, I finally realized the toll working as a cashier 5 days a week during the holidays does to your psyche. I just said "Welcome To Walgreens", out of pure reflex, to my cat as she walked into my kitchen. FML

Today, the guy I thought I was exclusive with admitted that the only reason he comes over is because no one else will sleep with him. FML

by f4444 / 12/21/2015 at 12:38am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy