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Eivana

Offline (the 02/05/2016 at 3:55am) | Search for a member

Eivana

44Fucked!

EivanaEivana
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 58492
  • Number of comments : 296
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 58 posted

About Eivana : "I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."

"Ahh, the past. The only thing dead that smells good."

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>fufufe</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 8:18am<b>yourmomshotfirst</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 6:45pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 6:03pm<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 8:54am<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 9:07am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 9:43pm<b>taranoelr</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:11pm<b>Leo619</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 5:35pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 12:19pm<b>Chief_leif</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 11:20am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 2:20am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 10:12pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 2:36pm<b>toastbrot</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 1:18pm<b>TreeTreeMan</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:28pm<b>foxbryan13</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:06am<b>TheDragonsGuard</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 4:59pm<b>jake131000</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 11:03am

Fucked!<b>Xaian1</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 12:21pm<b>TransitLetum</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:38pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 6:24pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:15am<b>boultzboi</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 11:01pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:53am<b>brandonwong</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:20am<b>bubsenn</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:41pm<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:51am<b>imkool136</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:07pm<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:05am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:46am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 6:45pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 5:36pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 6:55am<b>jacky75</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 3:26am<b>bambixhooker</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 9:01pm

Eivana's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried buying alcohol for the first time. I have a baby face, so I had my ID ready. The store owner admitted that my ID looked real enough, but he wouldn't believe it wasn't just an elaborate fake. He very nearly called the cops on me. FML

#21502763
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21169) - you deserved it (1559)

On 12/11/2015 at 11:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was working at a supermarket, a kid started to cry in line because he couldn't get candy. Since we have free lollipops behind the desk, I gave him one. His mom complained to my manager and said I was grooming her child. FML

#21502733
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20507) - you deserved it (5599)

On 12/11/2015 at 9:05pm - kids - by ilovekids? - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend backed out on our date so he could help his best friend get ready for some kind of drag queen competition. FML

#21502621
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18753) - you deserved it (6425)

On 12/11/2015 at 2:48pm - love - by strictly cum prancing (woman) - United States

Today, I had been stress-eating a lot of junk food during finals week at college. I was feeling worried about my figure, and lifted up my shirt to see myself in the mirror. My boyfriend, who I didn't know was watching, promptly said, "Whoa babe, it looks like the condom broke!" FML

#21502268
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23106) - you deserved it (3029)

On 12/10/2015 at 1:45pm - love - by pregnantapparently (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that miles are the same distance for everything. He thought that human miles were different than mouse miles, because they're smaller. He's 34. FML

#21502177
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22435) - you deserved it (2324)

On 12/10/2015 at 7:34am - misc - by MiceMiles (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a guy for whom I did a design job told me he would only be able to pay me in 3 weeks. I told him that it was OK, as long as I didn't have to follow him around to collect my money. "Don't worry, I know the feeling," he said, "I used to run an illegal business." FML

#21501371
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20918) - you deserved it (2013)

On 12/08/2015 at 3:30am - money - by Lala (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML

#21501271
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22234) - you deserved it (3165)

On 12/07/2015 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by Hormones apparently (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home to my mentally unhinged roommate jacking off to a frozen TV frame of Peggy Hill from King of the Hill. When he saw me, he threw an ash tray at me and told me to get out. FML

#21501232
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21589) - you deserved it (1860)

On 12/07/2015 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 3 year old daughter's Halloween costume finally got delivered. FML

#21501054
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24628) - you deserved it (1903)

On 12/07/2015 at 9:12am - misc - by princess - United States (California)

Today, I got back from a week long holiday with my new girlfriend. I started thinking about her whilst talking to my parents and reflexively cupped my mother's ass. FML

#21501013
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12700) - you deserved it (27437)

On 12/07/2015 at 5:11am - intimacy - by accidentalnorman -

Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML

#21500142
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21691) - you deserved it (1512)

On 12/04/2015 at 7:47pm - animals - by not twilight - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after years of loneliness, I met the most amazing girl on Omegle. We spoke for ages and really clicked. But before either of us could exchange numbers, I lost my internet connection and her along with it. FML

#21500041
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23952) - you deserved it (3084)

On 12/04/2015 at 2:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally walked in on my dad as he was getting changed. Now I know genetics can be a real bitch. With such a massive difference in size, I have to question whether I'm even biologically related to this old three-legged git. FML

#21499337
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26986) - you deserved it (3284)

On 12/03/2015 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML

#21499543
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18557) - you deserved it (2162)

On 12/03/2015 at 12:33am - love - by killmenow - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been having an affair with my childhood bully. FML



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