Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eivana

Online | Search for a member

Eivana

29Fucked!

EivanaEivana
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 49117
  • Number of comments : 259
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About Eivana : "I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."

Hello, you can call me Kamon.
I love drawing, writing, languages and music.
I am 24.
I will randomly comment.
I can be morbid, but being morbid is always exciting.

"Ahh, the past. The only thing dead that smells good."

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>pantsman66</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Cheeky_Fellow</b> - 22 hours ago<b>jewstooge</b> - yesterday at 3:45pm<b>2ndSucks</b> - yesterday at 2:01pm<b>lunar999</b> - yesterday at 12:35pm<b>lindacollins423</b> - yesterday at 6:57am<b>imafan123</b> - yesterday at 4:50am<b>juanpegler</b> - yesterday at 1:29am<b>christofferkamal</b> - yesterday at 1:07am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - yesterday at 12:54am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - yesterday at 12:18am<b>Ateeb</b> - yesterday at 9:05pm<b>spockadelic</b> - yesterday at 8:14pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 5:41pm<b>hayleymaybe</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 1:06pm<b>hantu69</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 12:55pm<b>Dave027</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 12:54pm<b>imkool136</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 12:45pm

Fucked!<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - yesterday at 6:55am<b>python199</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 3:25am<b>jacky75</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 3:26am<b>bambixhooker</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 9:01pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 5:46pm<b>paravoz</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 8:03am<b>keiNan</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 4:29am<b>Matheo</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 10:37pm<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 7:31pm<b>dudeguy1989</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 5:55pm<b>venomXVII</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 4:37pm<b>xluciferx666</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 3:26pm<b>pizza12</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 3:23pm<b>thunderfucked</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 1:45am<b>tinkdatank</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 4:38pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:13am<b>Nadron</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 4:47am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 7:23pm

Eivana's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned brood mare." FML

#21144074
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39337) - you deserved it (9367)

On 05/18/2014 at 3:14pm - misc - by Anonyname (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was on my way to my first job interview in months. I wasn't even halfway to the place when a bunch of cockbites in a car drove past and hurled a bucket of paint out the window, drenching me and several other people on the street. FML

#21143094
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46665) - you deserved it (3566)

On 05/17/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by spasti-cunt (woman) - Ireland

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

#21142020
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42724) - you deserved it (9110)

On 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

#21141244
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40325) - you deserved it (17059)

On 05/15/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by NickJJ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

#21139954
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46354) - you deserved it (6792)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my son has a new hobby after seeing a picture on the internet: putting realistic-looking stickers of spiders at the bottom of my coffee mugs. My wife was scared half to death this morning after downing a cup of coffee and then glancing the cup's bottom. FML

#21139841
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36586) - you deserved it (4303)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by itwasathtebottomofmycoffeemug (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML

#21139663
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39354) - you deserved it (8285)

On 05/14/2014 at 1:45pm - work - by workfordayzz - United States

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

#21138864
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53163) - you deserved it (7161)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML

#21138836
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55994) - you deserved it (8813)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:02pm - animals - by dating a big bag of dicks (woman) - United States

Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML

#21138042
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56034) - you deserved it (7159)

On 05/12/2014 at 7:49pm - love - by nofatchicks (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML

#21137666
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58785) - you deserved it (5693)

On 05/12/2014 at 12:01pm - love - by bambam - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60224) - you deserved it (5146)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML

#21137290
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48693) - you deserved it (4432)

On 05/11/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by Gone With the Wind - United States (Nebraska)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: