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Eivana

Offline (the 02/05/2016 at 3:55am) | Search for a member

Eivana

44Fucked!

EivanaEivana
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 58410
  • Number of comments : 296
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 58 posted

About Eivana : "I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."

"Ahh, the past. The only thing dead that smells good."

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>fufufe</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 8:18am<b>yourmomshotfirst</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 6:45pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 6:03pm<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 8:54am<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 9:07am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 9:43pm<b>taranoelr</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:11pm<b>Leo619</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 5:35pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 12:19pm<b>Chief_leif</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 11:20am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 2:20am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 10:12pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 2:36pm<b>toastbrot</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 1:18pm<b>TreeTreeMan</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:28pm<b>foxbryan13</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:06am<b>TheDragonsGuard</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 4:59pm<b>jake131000</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 11:03am

Fucked!<b>Xaian1</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 12:21pm<b>TransitLetum</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:38pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 6:24pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:15am<b>boultzboi</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 11:01pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:53am<b>brandonwong</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:20am<b>bubsenn</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:41pm<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:51am<b>imkool136</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:07pm<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:05am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:46am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 6:45pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 5:36pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 6:55am<b>jacky75</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 3:26am<b>bambixhooker</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 9:01pm

Eivana's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, I still didn't feel quite awake after the first lesson at school, so I went to get a cup of coffee from the vending machine. I had just enough money for it. No cup dropped into the holder, and the whole thing poured straight into the drip tray while I watched. FML

#21310620
81 comments

Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML

#21310328
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31615) - you deserved it (6827)

On 12/02/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by smiles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

Today, while my boyfriend and I were talking with his sister-in-law about a TV show, his 6-year-old nephew walked up just in time to hear how Santa killed the protagonist's parents. I've never seen such a heartbroken face in my life, and now he won't stop asking if Santa kills people. FML

#21309908
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30847) - you deserved it (4346)

On 12/02/2014 at 2:52am - kids - by xmassmasher - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

#21309848
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39763) - you deserved it (5656)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:40am - intimacy - by justagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my only child introduced his new girlfriend to me. He is 36 and has no children. She is 46 and has a pregnant daughter who she is very close with. I don't know if I'll ever be a grandfather, but in any case, my son is going to be one before me. FML

#21308718
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31348) - you deserved it (2700)

On 11/30/2014 at 12:29pm - kids - by Greatgrandpa (man) - Curacao

Today, I bought a Santa hat. After wearing the hat for a few hours, I noticed a strange lump near the tip of it. I stuck my hand inside to dig out the mysterious object. It was a dead cockroach. FML

#21308445
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32831) - you deserved it (3400)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while walking home with my mom, some unoriginal cockshart in a passing car yelled at me: "Fuck her in the pussy!" It was a long, awkward walk home after that. FML

#21308349
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31429) - you deserved it (2836)

On 11/29/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at work, I had to spend an hour and a half on the phone, listening to an old lady relive her entire day in excruciating detail. We're not allowed to hang up on customers, and she was extremely quick to dismiss all my attempts to steer the call back on topic. FML

#21308187
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31297) - you deserved it (3515)

On 11/29/2014 at 2:45pm - work - by gotta euthanize em all (man) - Canada

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

#21308095
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41946) - you deserved it (5412)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation,, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML

#21307421
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32030) - you deserved it (3043)

On 11/28/2014 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30837) - you deserved it (3180)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

#21306286
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41160) - you deserved it (3523)

On 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm - misc - by void bowels() { cry(); } (man) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML

#21306195
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32010) - you deserved it (2774)

On 11/26/2014 at 1:13pm - misc - by unwanted (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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