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Eivana

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Eivana
  • Town/Country : Six Feet Under, In My Grave
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 4412
  • Number of comments : 206
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About Eivana : I'm Kamon.
"I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."


Call me Kamon. You won't catch me on the RPG scene much, but when it comes to survival horrors, you got me. I love writing stories and playing video games. I love Slender Man and Pokemon, Digimon or BeyBlade. I'm picky about my music. There isn't a specific band that I like, but I like many different songs. My favorite Pokemon is Weavile. Drop me a line if you want.

Eivana's last visitors

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Eivana's FML badges

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, I was being interviewed for an amazing job when I was asked what animal I would describe myself as. Trying to be prompt, I picked the first thing that came to me. I responded with, "I'd be a turtle because I'm really slow sometimes." FML

#20531284
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19255) - you deserved it (11888)

On 03/04/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by seriously (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to find that my parents had replaced my regular alarm clock with a walking one that requires you to get up and find it. The alarm was set to 5:00AM, which would have been fine if it wasn't the weekend. FML

#20530545
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27831) - you deserved it (3111)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML

#20530380
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42862) - you deserved it (5535)

On 03/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nopanties (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

#20530358
182 comments

Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML

#20529995
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27104) - you deserved it (2802)

On 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm - work - by smokeysarah94 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

#20529783
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33588) - you deserved it (11180)

On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41605) - you deserved it (6437)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML

#20529319
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26025) - you deserved it (5558)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

#20528184
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36309) - you deserved it (2768)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

#20527903
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31097) - you deserved it (3277)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States

Today, despite the fact of being together two years, and having a daughter, my fiancée still refuses to tell her parents about us. We're getting married in six months. FML

#20527880
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33542) - you deserved it (5157)

On 03/02/2013 at 8:31am - love - by OhNo - United States (Virginia)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31272) - you deserved it (6267)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

#20525434
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26662) - you deserved it (1965)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by she sure has an arm. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

#20525332
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14929) - you deserved it (32531)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25360) - you deserved it (2071)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)



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