Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eivana

Offline (22 hours ago) | Search for a member

Eivana

4Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 18905
  • Number of comments : 232
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

About Eivana : I'm Kamon.
"I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."


Call me Kamon. You won't catch me on the RPG scene much, but when it comes to survival horrors, you got me. I love writing stories and playing video games. I love Slender Man and Pokemon, Digimon or BeyBlade. I'm picky about my music. There isn't a specific band that I like, but I like many different songs. My favorite Pokemon is Weavile. Drop me a line if you want.

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 10:10pm<b>mouse1996</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:19am<b>kingcarlangas</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:36pm<b>chefbuff17</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 8:22pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 2:44pm<b>poopoliciouss</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 11:13am<b>mohamed_H</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 7:33am<b>livelikely</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 10:52pm<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:45pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 11:40am<b>WeskerxChris</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 5:38am<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 5:26am<b>thatlooksweird7</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 5:05am<b>PrimeEvilTahir</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:07am<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:00am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 3:44am<b>moondoggie</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 3:40am<b>rickyvil</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:56am

Liked!<b>AnalAssassin1</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 5:18pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 10:01am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:31am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 6:49am

Eivana's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML

#21272098
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40118) - you deserved it (3892)

On 10/06/2014 at 3:46pm - love - by kittenfish8903 (woman) - United States

Today, as a limo driver, I had to drive 8 guys for a night-out from their wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio, thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently, they wanted to listen to their "pump-up" songs instead, which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML

#21271972
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36118) - you deserved it (4391)

On 10/06/2014 at 11:05am - work - by theseguysarewhipped... - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML

#21271662
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36415) - you deserved it (7253)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:17pm - health - by PickYourselfUp (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

#21271608
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36570) - you deserved it (16197)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a parade. While I was there, I ran into my ex and his new girlfriend. Trying to prove I was over him, I tried to act like I was oblivious to them and having a great time. I turned around, only for a piece of candy to hit me square me in the eye. FML

#21271287
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (4513)

On 10/05/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by HarleyDavison - United States (Missouri)

Today, the guy I really like acknowledged my existence for the first time. Too bad it was through a text saying "lol ur a fat fukc". FML

#21271187
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34981) - you deserved it (3462)

On 10/05/2014 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

#21271185
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37262) - you deserved it (3354)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:55am - intimacy - by fucksake (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42499) - you deserved it (5134)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my mom that once I leave school, I want to join the clergy, and how much it meant to me. Her response: "Never knew you wanted to molest kids so much!" FML

#21270314
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29953) - you deserved it (6338)

On 10/03/2014 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my sister and her new husband invited our family and my fiancé over to look at their wedding pictures. Turns out, I caught the bouquet and flashed the world in the process. FML

#21270191
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31435) - you deserved it (3710)

On 10/03/2014 at 4:22pm - misc - by sisterofthebride (woman) - United States

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were roleplaying therapist and patient in bed. When I playfully asked him what bothered him, he told me his mother hates him and burst into tears. FML

#21269125
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39355) - you deserved it (4800)

On 10/01/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by notatherapist - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, same as every other night, I sat in my car outside my home, just to avoid going inside. I live alone. FML

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

#21266104
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36220) - you deserved it (9368)

On 09/26/2014 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: