Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eivana

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

Eivana

4Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 27101
  • Number of comments : 239
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 38 posted

About Eivana : I'm Kamon.
"I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."


Call me Kamon. You won't catch me on the RPG scene much, but when it comes to survival horrors, you got me. I love writing stories and playing video games. I love Slender Man and Pokemon, Digimon or BeyBlade. I'm picky about my music. There isn't a specific band that I like, but I like many different songs. My favorite Pokemon is Weavile. Drop me a line if you want.

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>thinblue32</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:04pm<b>ChewyGranola</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 8:58pm<b>JocelynKaulitz</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 4:49am<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:03am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 6:54pm<b>MTxDynamic</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 5:11pm<b>DougK76</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 5:09pm<b>SpreadTHEKILLER</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 3:33pm<b>Devindelon</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 3:15pm<b>kiante99</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 3:11pm<b>edmunson</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 2:58pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 10:23am<b>coltonte3</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 10:08am<b>last_kings84</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:32am<b>BigSeedDeed99</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:31am<b>JMichael</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:01am<b>morondon000</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 8:46am<b>kongeavpluto</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 8:37am

Liked!<b>AnalAssassin1</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 5:18pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 10:01am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:31am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 6:49am

Eivana's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for saying "It's a stab in the dark, though." According to him, it's a euphemism for anal sex and I was being offensive to a gay colleague, the same one who kept insisting it was no problem. I got written up anyway. FML

#21330417
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29781) - you deserved it (1989)

On 01/04/2015 at 1:52am - work - by boss stabber (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML

#21330094
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28144) - you deserved it (1778)

On 01/03/2015 at 4:16pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while at work at a call center, I got a call from an elderly man who needed a new credit card because he'd accidentally cut up his own card instead of his wife's. Trying to be funny, I said "Trying to keep her in line, eh?" Turns out his wife had just died. FML

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

#21329484
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29329) - you deserved it (2086)

On 01/02/2015 at 5:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my sister compared me handling the news of recently being told that I have a devastating and very possibly fatal autoimmune disease, to that of a teenager being melodramatic. FML

#21329069
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32742) - you deserved it (2391)

On 01/02/2015 at 12:37am - health - by Sisterly Love - United States (Michigan)

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML

#21328278
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40344) - you deserved it (3198)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:47am - love - by Proposal Fail - United States (New York)

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

#21327463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33132) - you deserved it (2636)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

#21327404
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26585) - you deserved it (15569)

On 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm - work - by smooth - United States

Today, my mom finally got a Netflix account after months of me begging. When I asked her what the login was, she refused to give it to me. She said, "Netflix will know it's not me and then they'll cancel our account." FML

Today, my boyfriend sent me a screenshot of his phone's contact list, to show me the adorable photo of us he'd set as my contact image. I guess he didn't realize that a contact called "Side Babe" was just barely in the screenshot too. FML

#21325257
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35286) - you deserved it (2467)

On 12/27/2014 at 11:54am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I accidentally texted my mother instead of my drug dealer. FML

#21324443
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16739) - you deserved it (47625)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a very drunk woman at the family Christmas party told me she felt terrible that I don't have a mother who cares about me. She is my mother. FML

#21324062
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31755) - you deserved it (2005)

On 12/25/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32578) - you deserved it (3442)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, as I walked into McDonald's with my mom, she glanced at me and said, "Smells like your future." FML

#21323487
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29085) - you deserved it (3363)

On 12/24/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: