Search for a member

Offline (the 10/03/2016 at 10:50pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 65592
  • Number of comments : 303
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 60 posted

About Eivana : "I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."

"Ahh, the past. The only thing dead that smells good."

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 8:57am<b>taylorcheri</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 5:02pm<b>Overdue</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 10:22pm<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 11:59pm<b>Hutchie931</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 11:52am<b>tim374</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 10:55pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 12:13pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 12:35am<b>symphonicmetal</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 3:49am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 9:16am<b>greenfishbait</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 2:15am<b>fariss</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 1:18pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 4:51am<b>mr_dour</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 5:10am<b>max367</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 1:15am<b>Shay_Shay97</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 2:29am<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 3:04pm<b>thunderstoerms</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 3:32am

Fucked!<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 5:59am<b>Rockinroyaltyx3</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:55pm<b>PineappleTango12</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 3:10am<b>Xaian1</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 12:21pm<b>TransitLetum</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:38pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 6:24pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:15am<b>boultzboi</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 11:01pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:53am<b>brandonwong</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:20am<b>bubsenn</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:41pm<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:51am<b>imkool136</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:07pm<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:05am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:46am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 6:45pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 5:36pm

Eivana's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, the babysitter not only clogged the toilet, they tried to unclog it with our vacuum cleaner hose. FML

by somebody / 05/31/2015 at 11:37pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, cops showed up at my house looking for an ex neighbor. It would be all cool if before knocking they didn't politely wait in front of my window listening me and my boyfriend having sex for half an hour. FML

by bonsai_girl / 05/31/2015 at 10:19am / Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska) / Intimacy

Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2015 at 12:47am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2015 at 11:51pm / Australia / Kids

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML

by GlueAndCarrots / 05/29/2015 at 11:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, one of my regulars came up to my car in the parking lot. We talked through the window while I put on my makeup. He then asked for a hug because he won't be in for two weeks. I obliged and he was kind enough to slide his hand between my legs. He then gave me $50 not to tell his wife. FML

by witchybaby89 / 05/25/2015 at 10:50pm / United States / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried to work on my attitude at work. People say I'm mean, so I tried to be nice all day. Apparently I'm now condescending. FML

by Frustrated / 05/25/2015 at 1:42pm / United States / Work

Today, I saw my uncle, whom I have not seen in five years, at a family gathering. His reaction to seeing me? "Holy SHIT you have BOOBS! The guys must be all over you!" I awkwardly replied, "No..." Then he muttered, "I know I would." FML

by WellThatWasRude / 05/25/2015 at 2:30am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I felt pretty. As I deal with a severe anxiety and depression, I was proud of myself. All until a little girl asked: "Are you a boy or a girl?" FML

by hellpop / 05/24/2015 at 9:19am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I sleep during the day because I work nights. My neighbors have a very loud wedding and reception in their backyard including a live mariachi band. FML

by Vlen / 05/23/2015 at 10:38pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

by DENTALITY / 05/23/2015 at 7:06am / Norway / Kids

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

by Strainer / 05/23/2015 at 12:38am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my boss's office to ask for a raise, and walked out unemployed. FML

by zheiraT / 05/22/2015 at 3:44pm / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Kids

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

by homo fuckofftus / 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous