Eivana

Search for a member

Offline (7 hours ago)

Eivana

46Fucked!

EivanaEivana
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 60474
  • Number of comments : 301
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 60 posted

About Eivana : "I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."

"Ahh, the past. The only thing dead that smells good."

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>max367</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 1:15am<b>Shay_Shay97</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 2:29am<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 3:04pm<b>thunderstoerms</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 3:32am<b>Sierra120</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 1:33pm<b>pinksb</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 1:49pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 9:36pm<b>storethis</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 10:02pm<b>Incognico</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 2:13am<b>Rockinroyaltyx3</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 5:55pm<b>fangirlofthings</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 10:08am<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 3:38pm<b>marisol180</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 1:42am<b>tiggerlover100</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 12:32am<b>PineappleTango12</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 9:10pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 7:46am<b>fufufe</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 8:18am<b>yourmomshotfirst</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 6:45pm

Fucked!<b>Rockinroyaltyx3</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:55pm<b>PineappleTango12</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 3:10am<b>Xaian1</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 12:21pm<b>TransitLetum</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:38pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 6:24pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:15am<b>boultzboi</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 11:01pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:53am<b>brandonwong</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:20am<b>bubsenn</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:41pm<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:51am<b>imkool136</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:07pm<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:05am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:46am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 6:45pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 5:36pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 6:55am

Eivana's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to call patients that we hadn't seen in a long time. Most of them were dead. FML

by Exil / 06/24/2015 at 6:18pm / United States / Work

Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2015 at 11:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandmother ripped her pants. We all got a big view of her pink thong. FML

by cAPITOLpORN / 06/23/2015 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (Havering) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML

by Iamsosorry / 06/22/2015 at 7:35am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Work

Today, I took a nap. My boyfriend took this opportunity to go over to his "beautiful" and "amazing" ex-girlfriend's house to help her clean out her pool. I told him I didn't think that was appropriate. He told me I don't value relationships and didn't come home tonight. FML

by bev_rogan / 06/21/2015 at 6:16am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

by notgay / 06/21/2015 at 2:04am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend murmured his sister's name during sex. Before you say he was thinking of someone else with the same name, I've only ever met one person in our town called Nohemi. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2015 at 12:38am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a job interview, and my father in law's house. As soon as I got home I went to the bathroom and noticed my bloody pantyliner had fallen out at one of these places. I don't know which one is worse. FML

by organizse / 06/20/2015 at 10:03am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a cute guy asked me if I was single. When I said yes, he said "Yeah, you look like the type", and walked away. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2015 at 3:51pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I'm five and a half weeks pregnant. One of my coworkers told me that it sucks that I'll have to wait so long to show. I asked her what she meant; she replied, "It's always harder to tell when big girls are pregnant. Can't tell what's fat and what's baby." FML

by pregnantfatty / 06/18/2015 at 8:58pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML

by RecentCollegeGrad / 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm / Kids

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

by HURP / 06/17/2015 at 11:41am / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation

Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2015 at 10:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, in a train, I did the old "I've got your nose" trick for a kid. He got off at the next stop, then waved something at me from the platform, then yelled, "I've got your keys!" FML

by jaivolétonnez / 06/17/2015 at 1:54am / Transportation