Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eivana

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

Eivana

4Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 18478
  • Number of comments : 232
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

About Eivana : I'm Kamon.
"I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."


Call me Kamon. You won't catch me on the RPG scene much, but when it comes to survival horrors, you got me. I love writing stories and playing video games. I love Slender Man and Pokemon, Digimon or BeyBlade. I'm picky about my music. There isn't a specific band that I like, but I like many different songs. My favorite Pokemon is Weavile. Drop me a line if you want.

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 10:10pm<b>mouse1996</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:19am<b>kingcarlangas</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:36pm<b>chefbuff17</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 8:22pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 2:44pm<b>poopoliciouss</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 11:13am<b>mohamed_H</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 7:33am<b>livelikely</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 10:52pm<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:45pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 11:40am<b>WeskerxChris</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 5:38am<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 5:26am<b>thatlooksweird7</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 5:05am<b>PrimeEvilTahir</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:07am<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:00am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 3:44am<b>moondoggie</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 3:40am<b>rickyvil</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:56am

Liked!<b>AnalAssassin1</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 5:18pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 10:01am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:31am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 6:49am

Eivana's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48705) - you deserved it (16286)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45223) - you deserved it (4736)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was driving my grandpa to the store because his car is in the shop. I was well within the speed limit, but he kept yelling at me for "speeding", then accused me of trying to give him a heart attack, and eventually pulled the e-brake, getting us rear-ended. He refuses to apologise. FML

#21129670
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45337) - you deserved it (3548)

On 05/03/2014 at 2:15pm - work - by kezbabes - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boss told our production department that we're not allowed to be happy. FML

#21129081
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38178) - you deserved it (3205)

On 05/02/2014 at 8:03pm - work - by i guess (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

#21128082
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23677) - you deserved it (34276)

On 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by Mortifiedcharityworker (woman) - Austria

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

#21127339
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39515) - you deserved it (4981)

On 04/30/2014 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was waiting on a Canadian tourist at work, and he bought some of the most expensive stuff on the menu. I was excited about maybe getting a big tip, so I casually said that in the USA, waiters make most of our money off tips. The guy just snorted, "Sucks to be American, eh?!" and left. FML

#21127302
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37727) - you deserved it (27837)

On 04/30/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by yes, yes it does :( (woman) - United States

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

#21125262
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42132) - you deserved it (8565)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work, I served a group of three teens. Their tab was $75 and they tipped me nothing. They wrote a thank you on a piece of receipt paper, put it in a glass of water and used a coaster to turn the glass of water upside down on the table, spilling water everywhere. They also stole my pen. FML

#21125158
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49707) - you deserved it (3986)

On 04/28/2014 at 9:35am - work - by brerj09 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant for her birthday. I'd arranged beforehand for some of the staff to come out and sing happy birthday to her, but it all backfired when she started panicking and had a serious anxiety attack from all the attention. FML

#21124555
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45507) - you deserved it (7975)

On 04/27/2014 at 6:08pm - love - by phuckbukket7 (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

#21124489
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37231) - you deserved it (4674)

On 04/27/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by joe rogan fucking sucks, dude (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

#21124338
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43247) - you deserved it (6050)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Shit (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML

#21123602
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35295) - you deserved it (4954)

On 04/26/2014 at 3:55pm - misc - by fuckingfloridahowihatethee (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40446) - you deserved it (16920)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML

#21122879
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32626) - you deserved it (12782)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: