Eivana

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Offline (the 08/25/2016 at 4:29am)

Eivana

47Fucked!

EivanaEivana
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 64042
  • Number of comments : 303
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 60 posted

About Eivana : "I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."

"Ahh, the past. The only thing dead that smells good."

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Hutchie931</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 11:52am<b>tim374</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 10:55pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 12:13pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 12:35am<b>symphonicmetal</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 3:49am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 9:16am<b>greenfishbait</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 2:15am<b>fariss</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 1:18pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 4:51am<b>mr_dour</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 5:10am<b>max367</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 1:15am<b>Shay_Shay97</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 2:29am<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 3:04pm<b>thunderstoerms</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 3:32am<b>Sierra120</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 1:33pm<b>pinksb</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 1:49pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 9:36pm

Fucked!<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - 7 hours ago<b>Rockinroyaltyx3</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:55pm<b>PineappleTango12</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 3:10am<b>Xaian1</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 12:21pm<b>TransitLetum</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:38pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 6:24pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:15am<b>boultzboi</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 11:01pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:53am<b>brandonwong</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:20am<b>bubsenn</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:41pm<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:51am<b>imkool136</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:07pm<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:05am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:46am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 6:45pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 5:36pm

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Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, while making out in my car, the guy I was with decided it'd be a great idea to stick his tongue in my ear. He shoved it in so far that my ear still feels wet four hours later. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2015 at 9:30pm / Intimacy

Today, I had to complete a simple math problem to submit a web form in order to show that I wasn't a spam robot. I got it wrong. I'm officially too bad at arithmetic to prove I'm human. FML

by stupidrobot / 09/03/2015 at 4:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, after the doctor poking around my urethra and vagina at a lump, she turns to me and says, "I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what that is. Have some antibiotics and we'll see how it goes in two weeks." Excuse me while I go panic in a corner. FML

by freakingout / 09/02/2015 at 5:10pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Health

Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML

by Alan / 09/02/2015 at 4:13pm / Germany / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got the results of months of extensive psychological testing to determine why I did so well in my course but performed so terribly on the job. Turns out I'm autistic. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 11:41am / Australia / Work

Today, I had an argument with my boyfriend who was accusing me of only being in a relationship with him because I'd fantasised about being with an Asian. When I told him he was wrong, he asked me what attracted me to him in the first place. "Your eyes" was definitely the wrong answer. FML

by Anonyme / 09/02/2015 at 12:21am / Love

Today, it was my birthday and I have no children. My father bluntly says, "Well, I guess if I get any grand-babies out of you now, they will have Down's Syndrome." I just turned 30. FML

by AM / 08/31/2015 at 5:46pm / Kids

Today, my wallet was stolen from my purse at work. When I asked my boss to pull the security tape so we could identify the thief, he said, "I don't think I want to know who it is." FML

by bgierczak2 / 08/31/2015 at 12:50am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, marks the third girlfriend in a row that has broken up with me for my terrible dandruff. I can't control it as I was born with psoriasis. All three girls called me pathetic for "making up" a disease to try to get them to stay. FML

by babypenguin00 / 08/29/2015 at 3:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my doctor died. Last week, after a check up I'd had because I was worried about a cough, he told me not to worry because I was as healthy as he was. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 4:50am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health

Today, after an 8-month wait, I went on my big vacation. The beach, the sea, the dive, the jellyfish, the allergic reaction, the hospital. FML

by Mush / 08/27/2015 at 12:42pm / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Miscellaneous

Today, after twelve straight hours of work, my fourteen year old son surprised me with a broken window and a cracked TV. He said, "I was swatting away a fly." FML

by tortureromoretorture / 08/26/2015 at 8:28pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I planned on telling the girl I like that I have feelings for her. What I didn't plan on was having a panic attack and whispering "I really like you!" super creepily and immediately saying "bye" and running away in shame. FML

by Afroman720 / 08/26/2015 at 12:14pm / United States (Utah) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the boy that I met online six months ago and expressed my love to sent me a picture of himself and confessed how old he really was: thirteen. I'm eighteen years old and holding a steady job. FML

by FlyAwayPlease / 08/25/2015 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom (Flintshire) / Love