Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eivana

Online | Search for a member

Eivana

37Fucked!

EivanaEivana
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 53099
  • Number of comments : 275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 50 posted

About Eivana : "I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."

Hello, you can call me Kamon.
I love drawing, writing, languages and music.
I am 24.
I will randomly comment.
I can be morbid, but being morbid is always exciting.

"Ahh, the past. The only thing dead that smells good."

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>ratman775</b> - 31 minutes ago<b>Skarlun</b> - 55 minutes ago<b>JMichael</b> - one hour ago<b>hare</b> - 2 hours ago<b>shain1988</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Demii0729</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 10:20pm<b>pikmin5764</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 10:19pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 8:10pm<b>last_kings84</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:06pm<b>bubsenn</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 9:24pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 7:37pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 9:47pm<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 7:50pm<b>januswraith6</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 3:14pm<b>hantu69</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 6:46am<b>slickfawn</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 10:42pm<b>JordanODST</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:24pm<b>Mons</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 7:42am

Fucked!<b>bubsenn</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:41pm<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:51am<b>imkool136</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:07pm<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:05am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:46am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 6:45pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 5:36pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 6:55am<b>jacky75</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 3:26am<b>bambixhooker</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 9:01pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 5:46pm<b>paravoz</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 8:03am<b>keiNan</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 4:29am<b>Matheo</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 10:37pm<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 7:31pm<b>dudeguy1989</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 5:55pm<b>venomXVII</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 4:37pm

Eivana's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

#21381305
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30535) - you deserved it (4359)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28972) - you deserved it (3027)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26505) - you deserved it (2534)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my younger sister stopped talking to me. I got engaged to my boyfriend of 4 years and apparently, she's been in love with him since she met him. Through me. She's 12. FML

#21380050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34688) - you deserved it (2502)

On 03/23/2015 at 10:24am - love - by twelvie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34061) - you deserved it (6992)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, I went out with two friends for lunch. The van we took ran out of fuel, so we pushed it to a nearby gas station, a gas station suffering from a gas shortage. FML

#21379106
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (424) - you deserved it (3017)

On 03/21/2015 at 8:07pm - misc - by van no gough (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML

#21378919
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28124) - you deserved it (2431)

On 03/21/2015 at 12:47pm - misc - by poop - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was playing charades with my boyfriend and family. The answer was "Beckoning" so I acted it out with a "come here" gesture. He looked confused for a second, then blurted out "Fingering?" FML

#21378887
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28691) - you deserved it (3414)

On 03/21/2015 at 11:12am - misc - by ajodasdojsad (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was wearing a new tank top that was really cute. I later was talking to an attractive guy and thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute and funny. I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I only shaved one armpit. FML

#21378703
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27766) - you deserved it (9362)

On 03/21/2015 at 12:25am - love - by rayraydayday - United States (Colorado)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML

#21378617
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31692) - you deserved it (4562)

On 03/20/2015 at 9:32pm - love - by tumbleshay - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML

#21378520
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24868) - you deserved it (3993)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:43pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

#21378507
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28400) - you deserved it (2269)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by ~__~ -

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

#21378385
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25930) - you deserved it (3104)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my best friend confessed to having feelings for me. I've been in love with her for a long time, so I was ecstatic. She doesn't see herself ever going out with me, though, because she's a couple of inches taller and can't imagine herself "towering" over her man. FML

#21378350
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34091) - you deserved it (2732)

On 03/20/2015 at 11:26am - love - by falling short (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I met the perfect guy. He's sweet, funny, charming, a great kisser - the whole package. The downside? He has the same exact name as my father, last name and all. I can't kiss him without thinking of my dad. FML

#21378117
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32137) - you deserved it (3544)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:53pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: