Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eivana

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

Eivana

8Fucked!

EivanaEivana
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 40040
  • Number of comments : 248
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 44 posted

About Eivana : "I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."

Hello, you can call me Kamon.
I love drawing, writing, languages and music.
I am 24.
I will randomly comment.
I can be morbid, but being morbid is always exciting.

"Ahh, the past. The only thing dead that smells good."

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>jacky75</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Andrewski12</b> - yesterday at 10:12pm<b>Cherryheart</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:27am<b>Logicscmogic</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 12:43am<b>patts_</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:17am<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 12:07am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:43am<b>KenB99</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 6:26pm<b>meliodafool_</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 2:46am<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 2:40am<b>juice_33</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 9:52pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 2:46pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 9:35am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 5:15am<b>chandler88</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 1:14am<b>Liu1992</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 12:11am<b>luuuccccyyyy</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 2:57pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 10:03am

Fucked!<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:43pm<b>LanceGoodthrust</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 4:09am<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:54am<b>NoNamedBrilliant</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:11am<b>AnalAssassin1</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 5:18pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 10:01am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:31am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 6:49am

Eivana's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom finally got a Netflix account after months of me begging. When I asked her what the login was, she refused to give it to me. She said, "Netflix will know it's not me and then they'll cancel our account." FML

Today, my boyfriend sent me a screenshot of his phone's contact list, to show me the adorable photo of us he'd set as my contact image. I guess he didn't realize that a contact called "Side Babe" was just barely in the screenshot too. FML

#21325257
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35467) - you deserved it (2475)

On 12/27/2014 at 11:54am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I accidentally texted my mother instead of my drug dealer. FML

#21324443
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16776) - you deserved it (47852)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a very drunk woman at the family Christmas party told me she felt terrible that I don't have a mother who cares about me. She is my mother. FML

#21324062
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32683) - you deserved it (2233)

On 12/25/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33352) - you deserved it (3471)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, as I walked into McDonald's with my mom, she glanced at me and said, "Smells like your future." FML

#21323487
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29729) - you deserved it (3623)

On 12/24/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Can't, bigamy's illegal." I still don't know if she was joking or not, because she keeps changing the subject whenever I mention it. FML

#21322691
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29516) - you deserved it (2501)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked my grandpa why he spoils me so much. He told me it's because he truly believes no one else will ever want to. FML

#21322081
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31249) - you deserved it (2741)

On 12/22/2014 at 1:40pm - misc - by bxjxj - United States

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML

Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

#21321028
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29610) - you deserved it (3175)

On 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my date mugged me, just minutes after I paid our bill at the restaurant. FML

#21320485
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32800) - you deserved it (2471)

On 12/19/2014 at 6:27pm - money - by j4 - United Kingdom

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

#21319982
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34671) - you deserved it (4318)

On 12/18/2014 at 9:39pm - love - by I warned him - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

#21319860
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30073) - you deserved it (3823)

On 12/18/2014 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had my midterm finals for AP Literature. My teacher had good news and bad news for us. The bad news? That he lost the file for our original exam and so had to make a harder exam for us. An exam he told us not to study for. The good news? "Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins." FML

#21319606
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32507) - you deserved it (3044)

On 12/18/2014 at 7:11am - misc - by subversivepanda (woman) - Guam

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: