Eivana

Search for a member

Offline (the 11/10/2016 at 10:01pm)

Eivana

47Fucked!

EivanaEivana
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 66724
  • Number of comments : 303
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 60 posted

About Eivana : "I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."

"Ahh, the past. The only thing dead that smells good."

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>Crazygirl2424</b> - the 11/23/2016 at 10:48pm<b>jeremyesgirl</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 11:55pm<b>fariss</b> - the 11/11/2016 at 12:25pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 11/08/2016 at 6:50am<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 8:57am<b>taylorcheri</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 5:02pm<b>Overdue</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 10:22pm<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 11:59pm<b>Hutchie931</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 11:52am<b>tim374</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 10:55pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 12:13pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 12:35am<b>symphonicmetal</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 3:49am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 9:16am<b>greenfishbait</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 2:15am<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 4:51am<b>mr_dour</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 5:10am<b>max367</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 1:15am

Fucked!<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 5:59am<b>Rockinroyaltyx3</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:55pm<b>PineappleTango12</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 3:10am<b>Xaian1</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 12:21pm<b>TransitLetum</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:38pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 6:24pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:15am<b>boultzboi</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 11:01pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:53am<b>brandonwong</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:20am<b>bubsenn</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:41pm<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:51am<b>imkool136</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:07pm<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:05am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:46am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 6:45pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 5:36pm

Eivana's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy lately, so I arranged the pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face to cheer myself up. The pizza burned. FML

by welp / 10/28/2015 at 12:11am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, a colleague found out that I struggled with anorexia when young. After ranting about how it's a silly 'Women's disease', he renamed me 'Miss Piggy' and made oinking noises every time I ate something. FML

by missPiggy / 10/26/2015 at 4:27am / Norway / Work

Today, I was intently watching my odometer to see it change from 99,999 to 100,000 when I ran into the back of another vehicle. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2015 at 9:13am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I woke up at 2am and went to use the toilet. I sat there doing my business, when I heard a voice whisper my name from behind me. I live alone and the toilet is right up against the wall. I screamed and ran back to my room, then went without sleep for the rest of the night. FML

by haunted / 10/23/2015 at 4:41pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I cried my eyes out for hours over the guy who dumped me 9 years ago. FML

by shakira, when the walls fell / 10/23/2015 at 2:56pm / Canada / Love

Today, my classmate went into rage mode and cursed at me, complaining how it's so unfair that I'm allowed to wear a hijab in class but she isn't allowed to wear a Flamingo hat. FML

by idontmakethedresscode / 10/23/2015 at 4:17am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my two sons were fighting. I had to shout, "Give me that pillow" - the object over which they were quarrelling - and put them into two separate rooms. My sons are 12 and 15. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2015 at 3:02pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2015 at 12:46am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my life became a lot more depressing. A while ago, some friends and I founded a "Forever Alone" club, because all of us were single at that time. I'm now the only member left. FML

by Lena / 10/18/2015 at 1:06pm / Germany / Love

Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2015 at 10:23am / United States (Arkansas) / Kids

Today, I walked from my friend's wedding to my divorce. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2015 at 7:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I accidentally Googled "best types of incest" instead of "best types of incense" on the family computer. The parental controls went nuts. I'm now grounded, and my parents are convinced I need psychiatric help. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2015 at 9:17am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally found out why my new co-worker has been shooting me dirty looks, being rude to me, and generally trying to avoid me. It's because I have blonde hair and blue eyes, and she thinks people like me are Nazis. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2015 at 8:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a pansy and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2015 at 7:41am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, my ex-boyfriend sent me an email that read, "How to lose 25lbs". I was eating a large slice of pie when I opened the email. FML

by scorned ex / 10/16/2015 at 11:29pm / Health