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Eivana

Offline (the 02/05/2016 at 3:55am) | Search for a member

Eivana

44Fucked!

EivanaEivana
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 58482
  • Number of comments : 296
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 58 posted

About Eivana : "I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."

"Ahh, the past. The only thing dead that smells good."

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>fufufe</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 8:18am<b>yourmomshotfirst</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 6:45pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 6:03pm<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 8:54am<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 9:07am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 9:43pm<b>taranoelr</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:11pm<b>Leo619</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 5:35pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 12:19pm<b>Chief_leif</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 11:20am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 2:20am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 10:12pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 2:36pm<b>toastbrot</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 1:18pm<b>TreeTreeMan</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:28pm<b>foxbryan13</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:06am<b>TheDragonsGuard</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 4:59pm<b>jake131000</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 11:03am

Fucked!<b>Xaian1</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 12:21pm<b>TransitLetum</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:38pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 6:24pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:15am<b>boultzboi</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 11:01pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:53am<b>brandonwong</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:20am<b>bubsenn</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:41pm<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:51am<b>imkool136</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:07pm<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:05am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:46am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 6:45pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 5:36pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 6:55am<b>jacky75</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 3:26am<b>bambixhooker</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 9:01pm

Eivana's FML badges

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, my life became a lot more depressing. A while ago, some friends and I founded a "Forever Alone" club, because all of us were single at that time. I'm now the only member left. FML

#21481449
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24630) - you deserved it (2852)

On 10/18/2015 at 1:06pm - love - by Lena (woman) - Germany

Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML

#21481410
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25182) - you deserved it (5214)

On 10/18/2015 at 10:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I walked from my friend's wedding to my divorce. FML

#21481211
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27617) - you deserved it (2056)

On 10/17/2015 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I accidentally Googled "best types of incest" instead of "best types of incense" on the family computer. The parental controls went nuts. I'm now grounded, and my parents are convinced I need psychiatric help. FML

#21481043
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25859) - you deserved it (2580)

On 10/17/2015 at 9:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I finally found out why my new co-worker has been shooting me dirty looks, being rude to me, and generally trying to avoid me. It's because I have blonde hair and blue eyes, and she thinks people like me are Nazis. FML

#21481034
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26281) - you deserved it (1607)

On 10/17/2015 at 8:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a pansy and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML

#21481024
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23606) - you deserved it (4042)

On 10/17/2015 at 7:41am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my ex-boyfriend sent me an email that read, "How to lose 25lbs". I was eating a large slice of pie when I opened the email. FML

#21480933
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21981) - you deserved it (7341)

On 10/16/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by scorned ex -

Today, my boyfriend of two years told me that he sees no future with me. It's alright though, because he says we can still "coast along" until he meets someone else. FML

#21480863
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25053) - you deserved it (1914)

On 10/16/2015 at 7:08pm - love - by screwyouchris - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML

#21479950
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24985) - you deserved it (2861)

On 10/14/2015 at 10:29am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML

#21479432
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31637) - you deserved it (5615)

On 10/13/2015 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the hospital for a scan. The tech went wide-eyed and stared at his screen in horror before realizing I could see him. He wouldn't tell me what he saw, apparently only my doctor is allowed to do that. So now I have to wait for god knows how long to get my results back. FML

#21478782
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28186) - you deserved it (1529)

On 10/11/2015 at 10:02pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

#21477939
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29418) - you deserved it (4148)

On 10/09/2015 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by not impressed (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML

#21477928
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25333) - you deserved it (2493)

On 10/09/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at age 27, I went to pick up the girl I like for my first ever date. Her brother answered the door with a baseball bat, said the date was off and threatened to smash my kneecaps to pieces if I ever came back. FML

#21477785
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25498) - you deserved it (1749)

On 10/09/2015 at 2:39am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had my first open job interview, which is when a group of applicants are interviewed together. I also found out that despite being great at one-on-one interviews, I will panic and make myself look like a complete moron when I'm part of a group. FML

#21477479
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21187) - you deserved it (2212)

On 10/08/2015 at 9:07am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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