Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eivana

Offline (24 hours ago) | Search for a member

Eivana

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13526
  • Number of comments : 223
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 31 posted

About Eivana : I'm Kamon.
"I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."


Call me Kamon. You won't catch me on the RPG scene much, but when it comes to survival horrors, you got me. I love writing stories and playing video games. I love Slender Man and Pokemon, Digimon or BeyBlade. I'm picky about my music. There isn't a specific band that I like, but I like many different songs. My favorite Pokemon is Weavile. Drop me a line if you want.

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:38pm<b>kewpiesuicide</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 12:16am<b>romanianliberty</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:24pm<b>iti</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:42pm<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 7:55pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 4:57pm<b>tmd4L</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:08am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 4:56am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 12:46am<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 12:34am<b>Alexeon</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:29pm<b>sonshadsil94</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:50pm<b>RapFan21</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:48pm<b>therealjc</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:24pm<b>namine120409</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 4:02am<b>emmsies</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:07pm<b>princessleia97</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 11:08pm<b>aron1991</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 6:38am

Eivana's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26154) - you deserved it (3803)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I looked up my childhood bully on Facebook, hoping she'd gone fat and ugly. Turns out she's drop-dead gorgeous and very successful. FML

#21261760
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40734) - you deserved it (8785)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

#21261267
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31588) - you deserved it (3042)

On 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm - misc - by TuT (woman) - France

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30427) - you deserved it (3969)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

#21261017
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35515) - you deserved it (3045)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm - love - by clairebear104 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a volleyball game, and we were down by 13 points. I looked up at the crowd, and my mom was shaking her head in disappointment. When it was my turn to serve, I aced them, and tied the score. When I looked up she was gone. She'd left. When I got home, I heard how I sucked for an hour. FML

#21260940
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35378) - you deserved it (2189)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:56pm - misc - by Lexi801 - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32866) - you deserved it (3244)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42926) - you deserved it (4082)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36574) - you deserved it (4072)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML

#21260166
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34666) - you deserved it (2579)

On 09/17/2014 at 6:10pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML

#21259205
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27321) - you deserved it (4019)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:31am - kids - by HeIsKindaRightTho (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML

#21258936
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30546) - you deserved it (5916)

On 09/15/2014 at 6:19pm - misc - by lucas_urev - United States (New York)

Today, I had an important oral report to deliver with a partner. Not only did he come in late and high, he pronounced Virginia as "Vagina" the whole way through. FML

#21257414
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35038) - you deserved it (3134)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:36am - misc - by Jamestown of Vagina (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my fiancée's been cheating on me. Her excuse? Her ADHD made her do it. FML

#21257049
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37766) - you deserved it (2767)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40683) - you deserved it (5332)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: