Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eivana

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

Eivana

12Fucked!

EivanaEivana
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 43619
  • Number of comments : 250
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 45 posted

About Eivana : "I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."

Hello, you can call me Kamon.
I love drawing, writing, languages and music.
I am 24.
I will randomly comment.
I can be morbid, but being morbid is always exciting.

"Ahh, the past. The only thing dead that smells good."

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>dylanger16</b> - 11 hours ago<b>howlingbasher</b> - yesterday at 9:36pm<b>fallenkilljoy</b> - yesterday at 12:25am<b>boostedc</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 4:38pm<b>Redoxx</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 12:05pm<b>pleasedie</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 1:03pm<b>GodfriedGrobler</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 10:28am<b>AyeJay101</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 9:10am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 1:08pm<b>jonloran</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 6:11pm<b>UkeSenpai</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:25pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 5:04am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 4:27am<b>tranced_</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:25am<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 4:12pm<b>Pyneapple</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 1:45am<b>pikon</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 6:00am<b>pish</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 7:52pm

Fucked!<b>dylanger16</b> - 5 hours ago<b>GodfriedGrobler</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 7:08pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 5:26pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:43pm<b>LanceGoodthrust</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 4:09am<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:54am<b>NoNamedBrilliant</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:11am<b>AnalAssassin1</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 5:18pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 10:01am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:31am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 6:49am

Eivana's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, I felt pretty. As I deal with a severe anxiety and depression, I was proud of myself. All until a little girl asked: "Are you a boy or a girl?" FML

Today, I sleep during the day because I work nights. My neighbors have a very loud wedding and reception in their backyard including a live mariachi band. FML

#21414664
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21059) - you deserved it (2490)

On 05/23/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by Vlen (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

#21414342
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21073) - you deserved it (2547)

On 05/23/2015 at 7:06am - kids - by DENTALITY (woman) - Norway

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

#21414271
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21460) - you deserved it (4509)

On 05/23/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by Strainer - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my boss' office to ask for a raise, and walked out unemployed. FML

#21414059
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23664) - you deserved it (3937)

On 05/22/2015 at 3:44pm - work - by zheiraT - United States (Maine)

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

#21414033
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23235) - you deserved it (3658)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

#21414003
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26033) - you deserved it (1807)

On 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by homo fuckofftus (man) - United States (California)

Today, and for the past couple of days, my girlfriend's father has been trying to help me think of a way to propose. I decided to rehearse first, and that's how my girlfriend walked in on me "proposing" to her dad. FML

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

#21413610
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29021) - you deserved it (2687)

On 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went indoor rock climbing. After finally making it to the top, my pants ripped on my last move. I wasn't wearing any underwear. FML

#21412970
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20513) - you deserved it (17941)

On 05/20/2015 at 10:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I was fired for not asking a senior citizen for proof that he was over 21 and legally allowed to purchase alcohol. When I told my manager he was clearly over 21, he replied, "But what if he WASN'T?" FML

#21412440
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28819) - you deserved it (3059)

On 05/19/2015 at 7:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, one of my idiot co-workers thought it'd be hilarious to "fix" my car while I was working. Now every time I step on the brake pedal, the horn goes off. FML

#21412007
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27422) - you deserved it (2288)

On 05/18/2015 at 2:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was finishing my chest workout at the gym when this really cute girl started using the machine next to me. To impress her, I tried lifting a lot of weight on the barbell. It ended up landing on my neck and she had to help me get it off. FML

#21411484
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12989) - you deserved it (28893)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:53pm - health - by Idle_Twin - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

#21411390
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11867) - you deserved it (41181)

On 05/17/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by PISSED OFF - Australia

Today, I went to a domestic violence counseling group. I was the only male there, and I explained that my girlfriend punches me in the face in front of my kids. Everyone started laughing. FML



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: