Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eivana

Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member

Eivana

37Fucked!

EivanaEivana
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 53076
  • Number of comments : 273
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 50 posted

About Eivana : "I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."

Hello, you can call me Kamon.
I love drawing, writing, languages and music.
I am 24.
I will randomly comment.
I can be morbid, but being morbid is always exciting.

"Ahh, the past. The only thing dead that smells good."

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>Demii0729</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 10:20pm<b>pikmin5764</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 10:19pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 8:10pm<b>last_kings84</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:06pm<b>bubsenn</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 9:24pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 7:37pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 9:47pm<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 7:50pm<b>januswraith6</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 3:14pm<b>hantu69</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 6:46am<b>slickfawn</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 10:42pm<b>JordanODST</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:24pm<b>Mons</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 7:42am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 6:25am<b>imkool136</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 6:06am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:52am<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:36am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:14am

Fucked!<b>bubsenn</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:41pm<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:51am<b>imkool136</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:07pm<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:05am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:46am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 6:45pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 5:36pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 6:55am<b>jacky75</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 3:26am<b>bambixhooker</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 9:01pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 5:46pm<b>paravoz</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 8:03am<b>keiNan</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 4:29am<b>Matheo</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 10:37pm<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 7:31pm<b>dudeguy1989</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 5:55pm<b>venomXVII</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 4:37pm

Eivana's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, after twelve straight hours of work, my fourteen year old son surprised me with a broken window and a cracked TV. He said, "I was swatting away a fly." FML

#21461075
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17756) - you deserved it (1219)

On 08/26/2015 at 8:28pm - kids - by tortureromoretorture - United States (New York)

Today, my coworker called me a liar when I said I've been to New York. This is the same psycho who honestly expects me to believe that she and Brad Pitt have a "thing" and that he secretly communicates with her through interviews on TV. FML

#21459151
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23493) - you deserved it (1546)

On 08/22/2015 at 1:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

#21458908
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9481) - you deserved it (28269)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by notwhatithought (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML

#21456323
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22566) - you deserved it (1643)

On 08/15/2015 at 11:47am - work - by bruised - United States (Florida)

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28859) - you deserved it (3553)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML

#21456098
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22763) - you deserved it (2549)

On 08/14/2015 at 6:40pm - animals - by Wellthisishawkward - United States

Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML

#21455960
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30821) - you deserved it (1369)

On 08/14/2015 at 11:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, I found out my babysitter has been selling the breastmilk I produce for my baby and replacing it with formula, while still taking my money every week. FML

#21453691
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28390) - you deserved it (2093)

On 08/08/2015 at 11:53pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realised that my closeted gay friend has dated more women this year than I have in my 28 years of life. FML

#21453604
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23448) - you deserved it (2452)

On 08/08/2015 at 8:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (North Somerset)

Today, I learnt the meaning of the phrase "ménage à trois". I had always thought it was synonymous with "fiasco" and have used it several times in essays. FML

Today, I went to a frozen yogurt stand with my dad. One of the flavors was called "Juicy Cherry." I had to stand there and watch in horror as he told the woman running the stand all about how he'd like to taste her juicy cherry. FML

#21450062
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25022) - you deserved it (1804)

On 07/31/2015 at 2:28pm - misc - by ppema (man) - United States

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

#21449578
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26407) - you deserved it (2072)

On 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

#21449227
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26603) - you deserved it (1526)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm - health - by Crap (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, during my father's funeral, I heard my mother-in-law mutter, "No loss there. Lazy cunt." FML

#21449050
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27328) - you deserved it (1464)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:00pm - misc - by HF44 (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: