Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eivana

Offline (19 hours ago) | Search for a member

Eivana

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 February 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 32150
  • Number of comments : 243
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 39 posted

About Eivana : I'm Kamon.
"I've been puking up embalming fluid for weeks."


Call me Kamon. You won't catch me on the RPG scene much, but when it comes to survival horrors, you got me. I love writing stories and playing video games. I love Slender Man and Pokemon, Digimon or BeyBlade. I'm picky about my music. There isn't a specific band that I like, but I like many different songs. My favorite Pokemon is Weavile. Drop me a line if you want.

Eivana's page activity

Visits<b>zschul1118</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 1:13pm<b>ZiggysMommy512</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 10:38pm<b>benjamins39</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 7:47pm<b>revieced</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 6:18pm<b>frostedfoster</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:54pm<b>Brent40321</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:30pm<b>NoNamedBrilliant</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 2:11am<b>ihateyourroomate</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 2:26pm<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 1:00am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:04pm<b>AmberP02</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 10:43pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 11:10pm<b>thinblue32</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:04pm<b>ChewyGranola</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 8:58pm<b>JocelynKaulitz</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 4:49am<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:03am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 6:54pm<b>MTxDynamic</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 5:11pm

Liked!<b>NoNamedBrilliant</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:11am<b>AnalAssassin1</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 5:18pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 10:01am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:31am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 6:49am

Eivana's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Eivana's badges

Eivana's favorite FMLs

Today, after 3 years of studying to be a veterinarian, I found out I may not be able to continue. It's not because I'm failing my classes, but because my body has developed an allergy to cats. FML

#21363251
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25246) - you deserved it (1962)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:44am - animals - by cat-astrophic (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26484) - you deserved it (5526)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML

#21362632
102 comments

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
448 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40489) - you deserved it (3802)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML

#21360286
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20768) - you deserved it (26255)

On 02/21/2015 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16803) - you deserved it (28877)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML

#21357102
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38707) - you deserved it (2032)

On 02/16/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18592) - you deserved it (35209)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML

#21353586
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31529) - you deserved it (3246)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm - love - by doomed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

#21352119
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42975) - you deserved it (2974)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML

#21352037
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33776) - you deserved it (2285)

On 02/08/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

#21351411
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27253) - you deserved it (6160)

On 02/07/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

#21351381
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45602) - you deserved it (3750)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a big figure skating competition. Many of the girls before me fell or did not execute their jumps correctly. Me? I skated a flawless program. I was placed last because they said I didn't push myself hard enough to the point of falling. FML

#21351174
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40055) - you deserved it (2535)

On 02/06/2015 at 9:35pm - misc - by depressedskatergirl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my new boyfriend and I really wanted to have sex, but he went soft as soon as he entered me. This happens every time we try. I feel cursed by my year-long dry spell. FML

#21351173
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30071) - you deserved it (3374)

On 02/06/2015 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



FML's blog

  • FML's badges: pointless but essential!
  • If you're a regular on FML, it probably means that you're a member. Whatcha mean you're not a member? Right, for a start, run along and create yourself an account. Doing so will allow you to comment on…

Monday 23 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: