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100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, in a rush to squeeze out of a particularly tight parking spot, I made a hurried 12-point turn. Just to make sure I had enough room behind, I hopped out of my car. It was still in reverse. I managed to wreck my own car without even sitting in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3932) - you deserved it (14667)
On 05/01/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by tandc (man) - United States
Today, I was worried about my brother because he said that his new medication was making him hallucinate. I told him he should see a doctor right away. He said it was fine and that he had already seen a doctor. I later found out the doctor he was talking about was a hallucination. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17496) - you deserved it (1467)
On 04/27/2012 at 4:22am - health - by PickedOff (woman) - United States
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20717) - you deserved it (7959)
On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11086) - you deserved it (24444)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7078) - you deserved it (29334)
On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28750) - you deserved it (4076)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26566) - you deserved it (1924)
On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9229) - you deserved it (28218)
On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25974) - you deserved it (9533)
On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22824) - you deserved it (6137)
On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20016) - you deserved it (2704)
On 03/08/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by raidered - United States (California)
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39501) - you deserved it (4288)
On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9426) - you deserved it (50001)
On 11/18/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by omgitserika - United States (California)
Today, it was my grandfather's burial. As the family was about to leave, a great aunt came up to my skinny, tall and pretty cousin and told her, "Stay beautiful and kind." Then, she walked to me and said, "And you, Stay kind." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26060) - you deserved it (2590)
On 10/22/2009 at 8:26am - misc - by kthx (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I saw a weight loss 'before and after' advertisement and I wished I could at least look like the 'before'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28031) - you deserved it (17031)
On 09/16/2009 at 9:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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