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Ebola's favorite FMLs
by Mr. X / 02/23/2016 at 12:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by girlfromnowhere / 02/23/2016 at 6:06am / United Arab Emirates / Work
Today, I was at church with some friends and our counselor, who had recently came back from Taiwan. I was born there and love to visit, so I immediately exclaimed, "How lucky!" A few seconds of awkward silence later, he said, "I was visiting my dad who was just diagnosed with cancer." FML
by goodjobme / 02/23/2016 at 1:53am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/23/2016 at 12:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, my boss decided that, because I got dragged into a vacation that I didn't even want to go on, she was going to take a promotion back before she even gave it to me. I don't know what's worse, losing the promotion or going on that crappy vacation. FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2016 at 10:14pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my ex-girlfriend woke up from a coma that lasted a few months. Her parents called me from the hospital shortly after because she was in hysterics that I wasn't there. Apparently she thinks we're still together, and I now have to somehow break up with her again after almost a year apart. FML
by oh / 02/22/2016 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I'm a car salesman. I got told to cold call a list of previous customers, but I recognised the names as I phoned them all last week; I told the manager this. He slammed his fist on my desk and told me to stop lying and do as I was told. I got told to "fuck off" 27 times. FML
by Arcam89 / 02/22/2016 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Work
Today, I was in a car accident on the way to work. I called my boss and told him I had to deal with the police and the accident report and didn't know how long it would take. He got mad and said I "should have picked a better time to do this". FML
by Mycardoesn'tevenwork / 02/22/2016 at 3:16pm / United States / Transportation
by replaced / 02/21/2016 at 10:03pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
by Sarah / 02/20/2016 at 7:13pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/20/2016 at 9:19am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML
by Anonymous / 02/20/2016 at 7:53am / United Kingdom (Merton) / Love
Today, I had to console my bawling 6-year-old son and explain that his sister was lying when she told him that when boys in our family turn 13, they turn into girls. I'm not sure who disappoints me more right now. FML
by jts / 02/20/2016 at 4:55am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by Eyeslick / 02/20/2016 at 2:42am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by StudentAbroad / 02/18/2016 at 8:27am / Ukraine (Kyyiv) / Miscellaneous