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Ebola's favorite FMLs
by Puddlepop / 03/01/2016 at 4:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at a big speech and debate tournament, I corrected the judge's use of the word "podium" instead of lectern, because that's what my debate coach had told me was the correct usage. Well, she didn't take it too well and neither did my partner. Or my debate coach. FML
by Judgeisalwaysright / 03/01/2016 at 3:57am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I think my unborn child has developed a sense of humour. The little cherub is usually very calm, but must have realised that if he/she kicks me hard enough in this particular place near my bladder, I'll piss myself on the spot like a race horse. It's happened twice now. FML
by Spraylady / 02/29/2016 at 4:45pm / United Kingdom / Kids
by kayla53 / 02/29/2016 at 11:17am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by geekpower / 02/29/2016 at 4:59am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Miscellaneous
by killme / 02/29/2016 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by thatsucks / 02/28/2016 at 3:49pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2016 at 10:57am / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I let my estranged husband move back in with my son and me. Later, his pregnant and underage girlfriend knocked on my door, crying about how her mom kicked her out. I'm such a pushover, they're in my bed and I'm on the couch. FML
by ishyboo / 02/27/2016 at 5:59pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/27/2016 at 6:17am / United States (Texas) / Work
by anonymous / 02/25/2016 at 4:55pm / United States / Health
by rangerluke / 02/25/2016 at 10:52am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/24/2016 at 11:39am / Health
by 1meme129 / 02/24/2016 at 9:12am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by arrow / 02/23/2016 at 3:39pm / United States (California) / Health
- Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to… Today, we were swimming in gym class. There are some cute girls in our class and they were wearing… Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach…
- Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of… Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,…