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About Ebola : I never know what to write.
26 years old
Undergrad in biochem
Masters in biotechnology
I'm a research scientist
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, I got an Economics test back from my professor. I got a 17/20. I looked it over and noticed one of the questions was completely right. I checked the textbook he made and the answer was the same. I asked him why it was wrong, and he responded with, "I guess I changed my mind." FML
Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML
Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
Today, I tried to scare what I thought was a stray cat away from my friend's car in our work parking garage by hitting the panic button on his keys, which did, indeed, make the creature panic. That's when I learned it was not a cat. It was a skunk. FML
Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML
Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML
Today, I went deep-sea fishing with my friends. I told them my new phone case is waterproof, and I showed them by pouring a bit of water on it. My friend decided to throw it in the water for a better example. The case didn't float. FML
Friday 17 October 2014