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Ebola's favorite FMLs
by Rescheduled / 05/28/2016 at 4:44am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I overheard my ex bragging to his buddies about how freaky his new girlfriend is, what with her animal tail butt plugs and such. Towards the end of our relationship, he called me disgusting for suggesting we spice things up with handcuffs. FML
by Anonymous / 05/27/2016 at 1:15pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my co-workers decided in our meeting with my boss that everything is my fault. When asked for examples, they couldn't come up with any. Now they are mad at me, because I'm apparently good at my job. FML
by Anonymous / 05/26/2016 at 12:58pm / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Work
by WellThatSucks / 05/23/2016 at 5:15am / United States / Animals
Today, as I was instructing our new third grade students about how our martial arts classes are safer than people think, someone broke their leg right in front of their innocent faces. They saw the bone sticking out. FML
by muaythaiboss / 05/22/2016 at 1:45pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by lohandork / 05/22/2016 at 1:33pm / United Kingdom (Wandsworth) / Transportation
by Kaibel / 05/21/2016 at 5:39pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law decided that she is going to be in charge of planning my wedding. All decisions must be approved by her, and anything she doesn't like will be thrown out. She also wants to go on our honeymoon with us to make sure I don't "defile" her son. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 3:38pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 12:59pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my dad told me to knock it off with my "stupid gangster walk", saying it made me look like an idiot. I didn't have the balls to admit I'd sharted my pants and was awkwardly waddling to the bathroom to clean myself up. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 12:05pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've been talking to. We ended up at his house around 4 a.m., but as we walked through the front door, his ex girlfriend was sitting on the couch, apparently waiting for him to get home. They still live together. FML
by aireeahna / 05/20/2016 at 2:04am / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, I got my grades back. I got a very poor evaluation for my lit class, which was odd because it didn't match the impression from my end-of-class meeting with the professor. It does, however, include a nod to the supposedly-anonymous negative class review I gave her, though. FML
by Anonymous / 05/18/2016 at 1:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, my boyfriend found the box of photos I've been saving for my daughter. He was convinced I was pining over her father and emptied the box into the dumpster behind our apartment. I'm still not done digging through the garbage to find the photos from the day my daughter was born. FML
by rummaging / 05/18/2016 at 9:46am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were on a date and he starts complaining about how his back is hurting him. He complains the whole evening. Fast forward to later that night, we are in bed so I ask him if he was feeling OK. He says, "I guess so. I'm just confused about my feelings for you." FML
by bluskyz1979 / 05/17/2016 at 11:32am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was reminded what poverty is like when I had to choose between buying food and buying pads. Now, I have to take constant bathroom breaks and wipe off my pad. I don't get paid until after my period ends. FML
by poorgirl / 05/17/2016 at 9:03am / United States / Money