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Ebola's favorite FMLs
Today, the coach bus I was riding almost crashed. I was using the restroom at the time. The bus braked so hard, I peed all over the wall and splashed my shirt. Nobody wanted to sit anywhere near me after that. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 9:38am / United States / Transportation
by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 5:23am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/01/2016 at 5:06pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML
by sadfantasy / 03/31/2016 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/29/2016 at 11:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I put up a sign asking motorcyclists to slow down near horses, as the noise can spook them. While I was riding near the sign, a biker slowed to read it, looked at me, then revved his engine loudly and raced off. My horse bucked me off into some brambles and bolted. FML
by BriarFace / 03/28/2016 at 9:56pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, while brushing my teeth, a fly flew into my mouth. It got caught in my electric toothbrush and was sucked into the circular bristles, getting crushed between the brush and my braces. I now have fly guts and goo stuck between my brackets, and I can't get rid of the taste. FML
by PackardBell / 03/27/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by whereismyring / 03/27/2016 at 8:47pm / United States (California) / Love
by sorkin15 / 03/24/2016 at 5:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I was taking the train home from another unsuccessful job interview. As I was sitting there, I felt the urge to yawn, but before I could raise my hand to cover my mouth some guy stuck his finger in it. FML
by tittyboomboom / 03/24/2016 at 9:16am / Australia / Transportation
by annonn / 03/24/2016 at 7:11am / Brunei Darussalam / Love
by anonymous / 03/23/2016 at 11:02pm / Kids
by thegirlwiththedumbassbf / 03/23/2016 at 6:58pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/23/2016 at 10:36am / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, my stepmother started talking to me after a month of the silent treatment. When I asked her what I had done wrong, she replied, "Nothing, but do you know that feeling when you look at someone and you just want to choke them?" FML
by Stepmotherfucker / 03/23/2016 at 2:32am / Ukraine / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me…