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Ebola's favorite FMLs
by Fox_Undercover / 04/30/2016 at 4:33pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by ShouldICallYouDaddy / 04/30/2016 at 7:49am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy
by AintEasyBeinWheezy / 04/28/2016 at 2:26pm / United States / Health
Today, I put some of my wife's eucalyptus oil in my bath to make it relaxing. I soon found out the amount I used was about 100 times more than you're supposed to use. It took an hour of burning agony to find out the only way to get even a hint of relief was to cover my nuts in yoghurt. FML
by tingleballs / 04/28/2016 at 10:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
Today, as I was cleaning up after my two year-old, I found a pair of lacy underwear in his toy box. Not only are they not mine, but now I have to ask my husband if he's cheating on me. Or ask my babysitter if she's being having fun, instead of actually babysitting. FML
by Whyme? / 04/27/2016 at 10:39pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by tellyc / 04/25/2016 at 10:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by AcademicAdvisor / 04/25/2016 at 4:14pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I finally got to meet the new Director of my department. She was my intern eight years ago, the one I declined to recommend for a full time position due to interpersonal conflicts. She knows. FML
by Anonymous / 04/25/2016 at 12:03pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML
by sleepylillion / 04/25/2016 at 1:07am / United States (Hawaii) / Love
by need new job / 04/24/2016 at 2:12pm / Germany / Work
by TheSneakyNugget / 04/24/2016 at 11:18am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I found out my psycho ex also reads FML. She called me at work, pissed that I'd "publicly humiliated" her on here. I haven't posted about her at all. I'm sure the brick I found thrown through my window a few hours later has nothing to do with her, though. FML
by just die already / 04/24/2016 at 5:55am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got in a fight with my boyfriend. I sent him a long message pouring my heart out about how hurt I am that he constantly ignores me or responds to almost everything I say in monosyllables. He texted back "ok". FML
by sleepingbeauty / 04/24/2016 at 4:45am / United States (Mississippi) / Love
Today, the CEO of my company wanted to meet with me. I was excited until I found out she just wanted to bitch me out and personally fire me. Later on, I found out my boss had totally shafted me and blamed the failure of a big project on me instead of admitting it was all his fault. FML
by Anonymous / 04/23/2016 at 5:14am / United States (California) / Work
Today, my wife's paranoia reached a new level. She spent a half hour fretting over the idea that one of the cleaning ladies at our hotel might have taken a used condom from our room and tried to get pregnant with it. FML
by she won't see a therapist / 04/23/2016 at 12:37am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous