About Ebola : you don't want to know
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Ebola's favorite FMLs
by strawberry / 11/17/2015 at 12:51pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML
by weldingmachine217 / 11/16/2015 at 4:47pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, I got a writing assignment back. After meeting with my professor specially after class and meticulously combing through every word of that paper, I got a low D. Turns out, he graded me down on every suggestion of his that I took. FML
by ScreweD- / 11/16/2015 at 4:39pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I was floating on a river with some friends when I accidentally splashed one of their girlfriends in the face. She started crying and everyone gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the trip. We are all 26 years old. FML
by nightwalker2253 / 11/16/2015 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by WinnerWinnerNotEatingDinner / 11/16/2015 at 1:44am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by deadbeatdad / 11/15/2015 at 5:35pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids
Today, I was on the bus home from work when I felt something strange in my hair. I turned to look, and saw the old woman next to me sucking on the end of my hair. When she noticed me staring, she didn't stop but instead said, "So pretty. Can I have?" FML
by Koizumiii / 11/15/2015 at 1:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 11/14/2015 at 11:44pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymousse / 11/13/2015 at 7:34am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML
by anonymous / 11/12/2015 at 7:00pm / Netherlands / Health
Today, I gave a group presentation. Because I didn't know the last names of my group members, I'd put fake ones in, intending to replace them later. I forgot to change them and I ended up giving a presentation alongside a very angry Greg Penishead and Josh Acne. FML
by friendless1004 / 11/12/2015 at 11:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend called me at work and said, "I hate to do this over the phone..." I burst into tears, thinking he was going to break up with me. Turns out he only ate my last doughnut. Now my co-workers think I'm a weirdo. FML
by Porche / 11/12/2015 at 11:24am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
by notyourmummy / 11/12/2015 at 4:09am / United Kingdom (Isle of Wight) / Intimacy
by Its_Sinon / 11/12/2015 at 3:38am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous