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Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40481) - you deserved it (5890)
On 05/30/2013 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40173) - you deserved it (2351)
On 05/30/2013 at 10:35pm - work - by heyyoitsapotato - United States
Today, we had a get together for work at a restaurant I've never heard of. After spending all week trying to make a good impression on my new boss and co-workers, I showed up in a pair of shorts and a Star Wars T-Shirt. Turns out it was one of the fanciest restaurants in town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16637) - you deserved it (42407)
On 05/30/2013 at 6:32pm - work - by Lizzie - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42733) - you deserved it (3366)
On 05/30/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by windshitwipers (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, after calling the insurance plan for my new iPhone a "huge waste of money", I promptly dropped it in the store while trying to put it into my pocket, cracking the screen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19221) - you deserved it (41333)
On 05/29/2013 at 12:24pm - money - by sammarli530 - United States (Illinois)
Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41269) - you deserved it (2840)
On 05/29/2013 at 11:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59258) - you deserved it (2954)
On 05/29/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by :) - United States
Today, I told my boyfriend of ten months that I'm not ready for marriage. A few hours later he proposed at my grandma's 85th birthday party. She cried when I said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44094) - you deserved it (9104)
On 05/29/2013 at 1:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, an elderly woman couldn't afford all of her groceries at the checkout so she started to take out a few things. I offered to pay for her groceries; she thanked me and walked out. An onlooker then came up to me and told me that she does it to someone every week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48879) - you deserved it (4742)
On 05/29/2013 at 12:49am - money - by $$$ - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went to the Doctor's for a mole my husband had said was, "growing and changing color". It turned out to be a wood tick. My husband knew, but said it was too "icky" to take off himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40801) - you deserved it (6575)
On 05/29/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25017) - you deserved it (47241)
On 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm - money - by pool party - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had to make a poster for social studies. I decided to write "Nice ass" in hieroglyphics. Turns out my teacher can read hieroglyphics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19608) - you deserved it (41748)
On 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by Amber - United States (California)
Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44673) - you deserved it (26605)
On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40129) - you deserved it (4555)
On 05/27/2013 at 7:10pm - love - by mustache girl - Canada (Quebec)
Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41241) - you deserved it (3446)
On 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm - work - by fuck you retail (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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