About Ebola : you don't want to know
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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Ebola's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/10/2016 at 10:28am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
by TacoMan32 / 06/10/2016 at 12:29am / Canada / Love
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2016 at 3:45am / Love
Today, a week after spending most of my paycheck on a down-payment and rent on a new apartment, I found out the "landlord" I paid was a scammer. Turns out the real owner was away on vacation, and he'd stolen most of her stuff before showing me the place. FML
by Scammed / 06/05/2016 at 2:26pm / Mexico (Baja California) / Money
Today, I took my girlfriend to her ex boyfriend's apartment for her to exchange his spare car keys for some of her grandmothers items. I waited outside in the parking lot for an hour, with no idea which door was his. She came out no longer a virgin. FML
by Joey / 06/04/2016 at 2:52pm / United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East) / Love
Today, I went to get my first acupuncture. The doctor was a cute Korean woman, so I tried to start a conversation. When she pricked me with a needle near the tailbone, I involuntarily let one loose and saw her gag. FML
by Revelyn / 06/03/2016 at 6:18pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/01/2016 at 7:05am / Canada (Quebec) / Health
Today, I decided to work on my social anxiety by ordering some food. I waited in line, practicing my order in my head all the way. When I got to the front, I said my order with no mistakes. The cashier just stared blankly at me until I mumbled, "Never mind..." and left. FML
by EyesofStone / 05/31/2016 at 9:03pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Roostermann25 / 05/30/2016 at 9:34pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work
by Rescheduled / 05/28/2016 at 4:44am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I overheard my ex bragging to his buddies about how freaky his new girlfriend is, what with her animal tail butt plugs and such. Towards the end of our relationship, he called me disgusting for suggesting we spice things up with handcuffs. FML
by Anonymous / 05/27/2016 at 1:15pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my co-workers decided in our meeting with my boss that everything is my fault. When asked for examples, they couldn't come up with any. Now they are mad at me, because I'm apparently good at my job. FML
by Anonymous / 05/26/2016 at 12:58pm / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Work
by WellThatSucks / 05/23/2016 at 5:15am / United States / Animals
Today, as I was instructing our new third grade students about how our martial arts classes are safer than people think, someone broke their leg right in front of their innocent faces. They saw the bone sticking out. FML
by muaythaiboss / 05/22/2016 at 1:45pm / United States (Virginia) / Work