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Ebola's favorite FMLs
Today, I tried buying alcohol for the first time. I have a baby face, so I had my ID ready. The store owner admitted that my ID looked real enough, but he wouldn't believe it wasn't just an elaborate fake. He very nearly called the cops on me. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2015 at 11:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/11/2015 at 9:38pm / Intimacy
Today, I had my first job interview in months. The guy chuckled mockingly at my master's degree in philosophy and wound up admitting that he had no idea why I'd even been selected to be interviewed. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2015 at 2:16pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
Today, the bladder infection I thought I was over flared up at work, causing me to piss myself, despite having gone twice in the previous hour. I still had to finish my shift, soaked pants and all. FML
by PissyPuss / 12/10/2015 at 4:38pm / United States / Work
Today, I had been stress-eating a lot of junk food during finals week at college. I was feeling worried about my figure, and lifted up my shirt to see myself in the mirror. My boyfriend, who I didn't know was watching, promptly said, "Whoa babe, it looks like the condom broke!" FML
by pregnantapparently / 12/10/2015 at 1:45pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, my ex, for whom I still have feelings, introduced me to his new girlfriend. To make things "less awkward," he invited a mutual friend of ours. However, the last time I'd seen this friend, it was a week after my ex and I had broke up, and we hooked up. Awkward doesn't cover it. FML
by neverleavingthehouseagain / 12/08/2015 at 6:08pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love
by *sigh* / 12/08/2015 at 5:56pm / United Kingdom / Money
by alexa / 12/08/2015 at 12:14pm / Germany (Bayern) / Love
Today, I found out my husband pretends to be a young, bisexual woman online. As if that isn't bad enough, he flipped out and didn't believe me when I told him the other "young, bisexual women" he's been beating it to are probably middle-aged men too. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2015 at 11:46am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, a guy for whom I did a design job told me he would only be able to pay me in 3 weeks. I told him that it was OK, as long as I didn't have to follow him around to collect my money. "Don't worry, I know the feeling," he said, "I used to run an illegal business." FML
by Lala / 12/08/2015 at 3:30am / United States (Colorado) / Money
by unemployed-dude / 12/08/2015 at 1:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/07/2015 at 7:40pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by badbitch23 / 12/07/2015 at 6:21pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by accidentalnorman / 12/07/2015 at 5:11am / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/06/2015 at 4:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Work