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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Ebola's favorite FMLs
by FML / 01/19/2016 at 1:41am / United States / Love
Today, I was at a very important meeting with a client and I had to use the bathroom. I was so nervous that I squirted white soap all up my suit jacket. My client walked in and commented on my "jizzy" blazer. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2016 at 5:50am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, I was knocked unconscious by the 10 year-old I was babysitting because it was his younger sister's bedtime and he didn't want her to go. When I came to, their mother was screaming at me for sleeping on the job. In the middle of the kitchen floor. I lost a job and gained a killer headache. FML
by kids shouldnt have hard sports equipment / 01/17/2016 at 8:48pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/17/2016 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/17/2016 at 2:26am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, on my college visit, I met a perfect girl for me, sweet, gorgeous, on the same career path. I remember everything we talked about, where she is from, what sport she plays, and her recent internship. But when I went to look her up online, I couldn't remember one thing, her name. FML
by Roll Tide of Tears / 01/16/2016 at 10:28pm / United States / Love
by anon / 01/16/2016 at 6:15pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Intimacy
by tye61 / 01/16/2016 at 7:54am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Money
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy by text. I felt so betrayed, I stupidly tried to hurt her by replying that I'd been cheating on her all along with a hot babe. Turned out the dumping text was actually a prank by her friend. Now I'm single and everyone thinks I'm a cheater. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2016 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my dad made me figure out how to disable the adult content filters on our internet. He spent what must have been a full 10 minutes on a distracting, long-winded speech about how he doesn't want to look up porn, but "it's just the principle of the damn thing". Sure, dad. Sure. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2016 at 11:16pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I work 732 miles away from my wife and three children, and I rarely get to go home. After giving up many hours of family time to work on my last home visit, I returned to work only to have my boss accuse me of stealing time, dock me 50 hours, and "review" my employment for termination. FML
by I'm over it / 01/15/2016 at 9:09pm / United States / Work
by joco4 / 01/15/2016 at 1:00pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
Today, I took my labrador to the vet because he seemed really sick and wasn't acting like his usual self the past few weeks. The vet said nothing was physically wrong with him and that he's most likely suffering from depression. My own depression is why I got a dog in the first place. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2016 at 11:41am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, I told one of my teachers I have to attend a family member's funeral on a day she's passing a test. She straight up asked if I could reschedule it, and if not if I could just give it a miss. FML
by ugh / 01/15/2016 at 11:08am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/15/2016 at 11:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy