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Ebola's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend made a patronising post on Facebook, "to all you guys out there" saying how having sex with a drunk person is straight-up, 100% rape. I pointed out that she's had sex with me several times after I've come home drunk. That pissed her off. Now I'm single. FML
by 404: Sanity Not Found / 01/27/2016 at 10:35am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML
by oliver / 01/27/2016 at 7:02am / United States / Health
by NotYourToy / 01/27/2016 at 2:59am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, to avoid disappointing my excited great grandmother, I still attended a small family dinner to celebrate my engagement. My fiancé and I split last night, I haven't slept and had to tell her he was caught up at work. FML
by singlelady / 01/26/2016 at 5:24pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/26/2016 at 5:22pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Work
by jimmy_morton / 01/26/2016 at 1:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by justsomesummer / 01/26/2016 at 1:09pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by Anon / 01/26/2016 at 6:40am / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames) / Work
by VisceralWolf / 01/26/2016 at 1:35am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I twisted my knee while cutting firewood with my grandpa. The pain was so crippling, I fell over screaming. His response? "Quit your bitching, I had my kneecaps blown off in Vietnam. They had to stitch 'em back on." He's never been to Vietnam, or even out of the country. FML
by fuckoffgramps / 01/24/2016 at 12:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/24/2016 at 10:54am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, my dad wanted to show me a cool camera he saw on Amazon yesterday, so I let him use my laptop to find it. I realized too late that I'd forgotten to clear my browsing history. The suggested purchases section was filled with dildos and lube. He definitely noticed. FML
by Anonymous / 01/24/2016 at 10:27am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by whattheactualfuck / 01/22/2016 at 7:50am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 17 year old told me he wanted to pursue a career in art. Knowing he's extremely talented at drawing, I congratulated him and told him to pursue that dream. A few hours later I learn that he's been arrested for spray painting graffiti dicks all over a school wall. Well, he's famous now. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2016 at 9:21pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
by Kimel / 01/21/2016 at 7:11pm / France (Franche-Comte) / Love