About Ebola : you don't want to know
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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Ebola's favorite FMLs
Today, a friend who visited me a week ago with "allergy rashes" told me that it's actually scabies, and she hopes I didn't catch it from her. It takes 2-6 weeks for the symptoms to show and I can't use the medication for it anyway because I'm pregnant. FML
by itchyyet / 01/03/2016 at 12:52am / Australia (South Australia) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm / United States / Intimacy
by anon / 01/02/2016 at 10:57am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by IHateMySister / 01/02/2016 at 5:36am / Denmark (Sjelland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML
by me / 01/02/2016 at 3:25am / United States (Louisiana) / Kids
Today, my father told me he hasn't brushed his teeth for 30 years: he just wipes them with paper towels. I don't know whether to be horribly disgusted, or horribly jealous that he has never gotten a cavity. FML
by Mewsmash / 01/01/2016 at 11:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend let me stay over at her house for the first time. I went into her room only to find out she's obsessed with the Joker and has a bunch of posters and toys of him. I am deathly afraid of clowns. FML
by ScaredOfClowns / 12/31/2015 at 11:40am / United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove) / Love
Today, after trying unsuccessfully for three or so years to have a baby with my wife, my broodiness has gotten so bad that when I saw a couple with their daughter at the bus stop, I briefly had a daydream where I shot them in the head and took their daughter home to raise as my own. FML
by DesperateToBeDad / 12/31/2015 at 6:57am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Kids
Today, my grandma called me spoiled, materialistic, and Americanized for reminding her that she can flush the toilet after she uses it. The family now has a "three pee, one poo" minimum before we're allowed to flush. FML
by Anonymous / 12/31/2015 at 1:55am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2015 at 10:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today at work, a woman decided to use the changing room as a public toilet, to wipe the urine with the clothes she tried on, then leave the mess along with her soiled underwear and a used maxi pad for me to clean up. FML
by peachass / 12/28/2015 at 11:59pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, I got together a surprise party for my mom's birthday. I invited all her friends and her douchebag boyfriend who I don't get along with. When my mom got home, he took credit and got her friends to back him up with bribing. My mom said I'm selfish and horrible for not trying for her. FML
by Anonymous / 12/28/2015 at 7:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by whatthefuck / 12/27/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML
by _schaden_freude / 12/27/2015 at 12:31pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Love
by BahHumbug / 12/27/2015 at 12:18am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous