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Ebola's favorite FMLs
Today, we were doing research on contraceptives in class. Afterwards, the girl next to me starts explaining how "cringey" and "grossed out" she gets when she sees/hears "the words for the private parts." She then tells me all about her getting her period that morning in explicit detail. FML
by howdoesthatmakesense / 05/02/2016 at 4:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, since I always fall asleep in class, I decided not to go to the bathroom beforehand, hoping the sensation to pee would keep me awake. I ended up falling asleep and wetting myself in the middle of the lecture. FML
by Pee.H.D / 05/02/2016 at 1:24pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Alex White / 05/02/2016 at 12:50pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend keeps requesting that I make eye contact when I give him blowjobs. He won't let up about it. I don't know how to break it to him that his penis is too small for me to suck and look upward at the same time. FML
by oh gee / 05/02/2016 at 1:01am / Intimacy
by Fox_Undercover / 04/30/2016 at 4:33pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by ShouldICallYouDaddy / 04/30/2016 at 7:49am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy
by AintEasyBeinWheezy / 04/28/2016 at 2:26pm / United States / Health
Today, I put some of my wife's eucalyptus oil in my bath to make it relaxing. I soon found out the amount I used was about 100 times more than you're supposed to use. It took an hour of burning agony to find out the only way to get even a hint of relief was to cover my nuts in yoghurt. FML
by tingleballs / 04/28/2016 at 10:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
Today, as I was cleaning up after my two year-old, I found a pair of lacy underwear in his toy box. Not only are they not mine, but now I have to ask my husband if he's cheating on me. Or ask my babysitter if she's being having fun, instead of actually babysitting. FML
by Whyme? / 04/27/2016 at 10:39pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by tellyc / 04/25/2016 at 10:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by AcademicAdvisor / 04/25/2016 at 4:14pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I finally got to meet the new Director of my department. She was my intern eight years ago, the one I declined to recommend for a full time position due to interpersonal conflicts. She knows. FML
by Anonymous / 04/25/2016 at 12:03pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML
by sleepylillion / 04/25/2016 at 1:07am / United States (Hawaii) / Love
by need new job / 04/24/2016 at 2:12pm / Germany / Work