Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ebola

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

Ebola

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13123
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Ebola : I never know what to write.

26 years old

Undergrad in biochem
Masters in biotechnology

I'm a research scientist

Ebola's page activity

Visits<b>BigSeedDeed99</b> - 19 hours ago<b>201chasew</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:28am<b>This_Chica</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:38am<b>garage</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 2:52pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 10:03am<b>LittleBells</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 2:59pm<b>postpunkfunk</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 3:44pm<b>vmbrocca</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 2:40pm<b>TumblrAndStuff</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:08pm<b>C00kiesNcream</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:47am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 1:13pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 1:11am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 9:09am<b>maravenus</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:01pm<b>fadedddiamonds</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:57am<b>krupa1017</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:45pm<b>Marshgray</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 1:51pm<b>coltonte3</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 12:49am

Ebola's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Ebola's badges

Ebola's favorite FMLs

Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML

#21283051
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32573) - you deserved it (3923)

On 10/22/2014 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

#21283044
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32658) - you deserved it (3633)

On 10/22/2014 at 10:47am - animals - by MouserMan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31540) - you deserved it (3326)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34331) - you deserved it (10498)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35256) - you deserved it (2690)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30724) - you deserved it (4014)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

#21281207
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29719) - you deserved it (4722)

On 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28550) - you deserved it (7370)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

#21280942
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34010) - you deserved it (4277)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I have to make a decision. I either drive my dad around during the day so he can drink, or I let him drink and drive so I can focus on studying for my exams. FML

#21280767
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34514) - you deserved it (2505)

On 10/18/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by problems - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34931) - you deserved it (3376)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33763) - you deserved it (12121)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36687) - you deserved it (3020)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

#21280399
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32623) - you deserved it (6503)

On 10/18/2014 at 10:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

#21279866
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37480) - you deserved it (5423)

On 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by gettinghotinhere - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: