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Ebola's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy by text. I felt so betrayed, I stupidly tried to hurt her by replying that I'd been cheating on her all along with a hot babe. Turned out the dumping text was actually a prank by her friend. Now I'm single and everyone thinks I'm a cheater. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2016 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my dad made me figure out how to disable the adult content filters on our internet. He spent what must have been a full 10 minutes on a distracting, long-winded speech about how he doesn't want to look up porn, but "it's just the principle of the damn thing". Sure, dad. Sure. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2016 at 11:16pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I work 732 miles away from my wife and three children, and I rarely get to go home. After giving up many hours of family time to work on my last home visit, I returned to work only to have my boss accuse me of stealing time, dock me 50 hours, and "review" my employment for termination. FML
by I'm over it / 01/15/2016 at 9:09pm / United States / Work
by joco4 / 01/15/2016 at 1:00pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
Today, I took my labrador to the vet because he seemed really sick and wasn't acting like his usual self the past few weeks. The vet said nothing was physically wrong with him and that he's most likely suffering from depression. My own depression is why I got a dog in the first place. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2016 at 11:41am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, I told one of my teachers I have to attend a family member's funeral on a day she's passing a test. She straight up asked if I could reschedule it, and if not if I could just give it a miss. FML
by ugh / 01/15/2016 at 11:08am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/15/2016 at 11:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML
by Vitani_Verci / 01/15/2016 at 1:57am / Kids
Today, I found out why this crazy bitch slashed the tires of my car to prevent me from going to my exam. It's because I'm supposedly the curve setter for the class and she wants to get into medical school without me fucking it up for her. FML
by notmyfault / 01/14/2016 at 5:21pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/14/2016 at 7:51am / Australia / Intimacy
by sciencenat / 01/14/2016 at 1:36am / Work
Today, I finally went to the doctor's office to have a small patch of acne on my stomach looked at. Since it was in an almost perfect circle and abnormally sensitive, I was worried it could be ringworm or some other sort of skin infection. It turned out to be an infection alright. Herpes. FML
by ringrash / 01/14/2016 at 1:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/13/2016 at 6:03pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by ShouldveStayedAVirgin / 01/13/2016 at 1:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by anon / 01/12/2016 at 9:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous