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Ebola's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/02/2016 at 12:06am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML
by tinyfeet / 03/01/2016 at 10:15pm / New Zealand / Work
by sqquish / 03/01/2016 at 1:48pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
by NotHungryAnymore / 03/01/2016 at 10:46am / United States (New York) / Work
by Puddlepop / 03/01/2016 at 4:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at a big speech and debate tournament, I corrected the judge's use of the word "podium" instead of lectern, because that's what my debate coach had told me was the correct usage. Well, she didn't take it too well and neither did my partner. Or my debate coach. FML
by Judgeisalwaysright / 03/01/2016 at 3:57am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I think my unborn child has developed a sense of humour. The little cherub is usually very calm, but must have realised that if he/she kicks me hard enough in this particular place near my bladder, I'll piss myself on the spot like a race horse. It's happened twice now. FML
by Spraylady / 02/29/2016 at 4:45pm / United Kingdom / Kids
by kayla53 / 02/29/2016 at 11:17am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by geekpower / 02/29/2016 at 4:59am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Miscellaneous
by killme / 02/29/2016 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by thatsucks / 02/28/2016 at 3:49pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2016 at 10:57am / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I let my estranged husband move back in with my son and me. Later, his pregnant and underage girlfriend knocked on my door, crying about how her mom kicked her out. I'm such a pushover, they're in my bed and I'm on the couch. FML
by ishyboo / 02/27/2016 at 5:59pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/27/2016 at 6:17am / United States (Texas) / Work
by anonymous / 02/25/2016 at 4:55pm / United States / Health