Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ebola

Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member

Ebola

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12665
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Ebola : I never know what to write.

26 years old

Undergrad in biochem
Masters in biotechnology

I'm a research scientist

Ebola's page activity

Visits<b>201chasew</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:28am<b>BigSeedDeed99</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 11:17am<b>This_Chica</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:38am<b>garage</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 2:52pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 10:03am<b>LittleBells</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 2:59pm<b>postpunkfunk</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 3:44pm<b>vmbrocca</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 2:40pm<b>TumblrAndStuff</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:08pm<b>C00kiesNcream</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:47am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 1:13pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 1:11am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 9:09am<b>maravenus</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:01pm<b>fadedddiamonds</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:57am<b>krupa1017</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:45pm<b>Marshgray</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 1:51pm<b>coltonte3</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 12:49am

Ebola's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Ebola's badges

Ebola's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40439) - you deserved it (4650)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

#21242605
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45849) - you deserved it (5150)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37566) - you deserved it (6746)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML

#21242399
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39456) - you deserved it (14938)

On 08/21/2014 at 11:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML

#21241880
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42367) - you deserved it (6893)

On 08/20/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45771) - you deserved it (7611)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 24-year-old, unemployed brother stole all of my food money and went out with his friends. His punishment from our parents? He has to pay me back when he gets a job. My stomach has to wait. FML

#21241750
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40103) - you deserved it (2594)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:59pm - money - by HungryStudent (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20269) - you deserved it (38665)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm getting married. I have a big poofy white dress and, oh yes, the shits. Here's hoping I can make it down the aisle without rushing off to the toilet. FML

#21241662
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41592) - you deserved it (3098)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:01pm - love - by ithinkicanmakeit - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

#21241406
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64554) - you deserved it (4110)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:15am - health - by BagelTheOtaku (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37145) - you deserved it (3471)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42074) - you deserved it (5967)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43548) - you deserved it (16546)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24295) - you deserved it (44708)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: