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Ebola's favorite FMLs
by madisonnnnnn / 02/12/2016 at 8:38pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/12/2016 at 8:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/12/2016 at 5:29am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I was playing Badminton in P.E, and I was paired with a particularly pretty girl, who for some reason kept asking stupid questions that we both knew the answers to. I've only now just realized that she was trying to initiate conversation with me. This is why I have no friends. FML
by oblivious idiot / 02/12/2016 at 2:50am / Love
by aiw14 / 02/12/2016 at 1:41am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that every time my boyfriend has cutely joked about my clothes not matching while we're just lounging around the house, he's really been hoping I would catch on that he thinks I look like a slob. FML
by Rachel / 02/12/2016 at 1:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was cleaning, listening to music and sometimes singing along, I heard a knock on my front door. I turned off the music and opened the door to the police, who stated they had to investigate reports of "repeated female screams" coming from my apartment. I'm a 23 year old man. FML
by Anonymous / 02/11/2016 at 7:15pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found my 6-year-old daughter recording herself on her little tape recorder. When I asked her what she was up to, she replied in her cute little voice, "I'm recording myself so you'll have a souvenir when I'm dead." FML
by DarkChild / 02/11/2016 at 5:18pm / France / Kids
Today, we had some workers come to paint my office building. As a receptionist, it's my job to stock the fridge with soda. I walked into the supply closet just in time to find a worker peeing in a bucket. I stood there for about 10 seconds before I understood what was happening and ran out. FML
by onlyolivia / 02/11/2016 at 2:55pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, after long day at work, I stopped by my parents' house to say hi. After 30 minutes into the visit, my dad turns to me and asks, "Did you really have to stop by while I was balls deep?" Apparently I interrupted my parents' sex time. FML
by CmS_1733 / 02/11/2016 at 1:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by not satisfied / 02/11/2016 at 12:06pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by candy / 02/11/2016 at 7:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, my aunt informed me that my dad thinks my boyfriend is a loser deadbeat because he hasn't proposed to me after two years of dating and co-habitation. He hasn't asked because I already made it very clear I have no interest in marriage. FML
by Anonymous / 02/10/2016 at 10:32am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/09/2016 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
Today, I learnt what my boss meant when he said he would 'get his revenge on me' for winning a bet. I have to clean all the rooms that currently have a couple staying in it on February 15th. I don't want to work in a hotel anymore. FML
by Hello condoms and lube / 02/09/2016 at 4:53pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Work