About Ebola : you don't want to know
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Ebola's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally determined the source of the horrible smell that periodically invades my apartment: there's nothing wrong with the plumbing as I previously thought, I can just smell my neighbors pooping in their bathroom on the other side of the wall. FML
by Dear God Why / 12/05/2016 at 8:07am / Miscellaneous
Today, I was reading on a park bench not far from a grassy spot and a pond. A flock of geese landed on the grassy patch and began to eat some grass. I thought that I may be bothering the geese, but decided if I left them alone, they'd leave me alone as well. I was wrong. Geese are assholes. FML
by Geese Ahoy / 11/14/2016 at 12:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 11/09/2016 at 3:54pm / United States (Maryland) / Health
by SnapeIsGood / 11/08/2016 at 4:44am / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Health
Today, my roommate told me that she was studying in the library. Turns out, she didn't feel like going to the library and just spent all afternoon studying in a friend's room because she didn't think I was capable of shutting up for long enough to get any work done. Our other friends agreed. FML
by shutup shutup shutup don't wanna hear it / 11/07/2016 at 7:43pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, I was diagnosed with chronic vomiting. I've gone to 7 doctors and tried 13 different medicines, with none of them working. I've gone to therapy and taken up yoga with no change. So apparently, throwing up daily at random times is the new normal for me. Yay. FML
by leadwriteafw / 11/03/2016 at 2:35pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, while out to dinner with my adult daughter, I told her I look at her Twitter because it helped me to feel close to her since she rarely calls or visits. When I got home from dinner and looked at her Twitter, she had set it to private. FML
by thinking of military school / 10/23/2016 at 4:35pm / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was transcribing my manager's recorded orated memo, I heard an unmistakable grunt and splash of an impromptu "bathroom deposit". Seems my manager is economising his time like never before. FML
Today, I was syphoning some gas from my truck to my friend's car just enough to get to the gas station. I told my friend to let me know when the gas was coming; he said, "Alright." Suddenly, I got a mouth full of gas because he was on his phone taking a video of me. He got the whole thing. FML
by crazytortise / 10/05/2016 at 10:40pm / United States / Transportation