About Eaglestrike117 : I've read every single FML.
Eaglestrike117's FML badges
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Eaglestrike117's favorite FMLs
by sozzy / 07/07/2012 at 3:26am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML
Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML
by anonymous / 06/26/2012 at 2:05am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation
by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Darwin_Award_Winner / 06/07/2012 at 8:10am / United States (Texas) / Health
by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health
by Lee / 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm / United States / Animals
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
by StinkyandStupid / 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm / United States / Transportation
Today, at work at a gas station kiosk, a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said, "I only come here for the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML
by aprilmay91 / 03/11/2012 at 8:38am / United States / Work
by KittenNomNom / 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML
by Benjamin / 01/25/2012 at 12:03am / United States (California) / Work
by me / 01/24/2012 at 10:40pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long…