Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 24243
  • Number of comments : 190
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Eaglestrike117 : I've read every single FML.

Eaglestrike117's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 9:04am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 12:20am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 8:55am<b>treycranney25</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 10:36pm<b>opinionatedhuman</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:18pm<b>ShyGuy477</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:21am<b>BigL99</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 6:04pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 8:58am<b>thebosslikeaboss</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 8:47am<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 4:14am<b>AMERICAN_MADE</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 5:15pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 9:48pm<b>xSLEEPYxHEADx</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 10:19am<b>theonly1foryou</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 12:54am<b>Chris_Nuwen</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:46am<b>OrangeDoge25</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:37pm<b>spartan88eric</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:18pm<b>RabbidIbanez</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:10pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:25pm

Eaglestrike117's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of Eaglestrike117's badges

Eaglestrike117's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8660) - you deserved it (26909)

On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -

Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27909) - you deserved it (5764)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41634) - you deserved it (4420)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML


I agree, your life sucks (44983) - you deserved it (4203)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24639) - you deserved it (9727)

On 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (6992) - you deserved it (34030)

On 06/07/2012 at 8:10am - health - by Darwin_Award_Winner (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14796) - you deserved it (44857)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23684) - you deserved it (2727)

On 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm - animals - by Lee (woman) - United States

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8858) - you deserved it (35963)

On 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by StinkyandStupid - United States

Today, at work at a gas station kiosk, a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said, "I only come here for the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12995) - you deserved it (39602)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33545) - you deserved it (2876)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:03am - work - by Benjamin - United States (California)

Today, I attended an elderly man's funeral. As I approached the casket his wife said, "Thank you for coming." I replied with, "No, thank you." FML


I agree, your life sucks (11033) - you deserved it (28602)

On 01/24/2012 at 10:40pm - misc - by me - Canada

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26033) - you deserved it (3744)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a friend told me over MSN that her father had died. Trying to express some solidarity, I went to send her a tearful smiley. I accidentally sent her the dancing pig animation instead. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19230) - you deserved it (29866) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/29/2011 at 2:32pm - misc - by Kevin - France

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: